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Hundreds of years ago, our planet hosted

  • Hundreds of years ago, our planet hosted a small human population. Despite an abundance of land and food, the greedy rich, as usual, hogged it all and forced others into servitude.
  • "We are not your slaves, and we are not the slaves of our genome!"was the war-cry of jerome522, martyr of a failed rebellion. But the Ultrarich's nxMOAR virus dealt with the merely
  • stupid in the harshest way possible: it ripped apart and rearranged their DNA, causing a slow and extremely painful mutation into Jessica Simpson. The Ultrarich's plan was simple:
  • rearrange 2 people a day and double it every day for 240 days. The Ultrarich couldn't help imagining having billions of Jessica Simpson's at his beck n call. He'd make them wash
  • all his dishes. He paced by the window, reworking equations written on the glass. Swapping 2 people daily, and doubling it every 240 days should be the answer. And Jessica Simpson
  • had nothing to do with after all. She had simply been a distraction, a red herring if you will. So by implementing the 2 people/day doubling every 240 days worked they eeked out a
  • meager living selling Cheezits dipped in Tabasco and a spoonful of molasses with pickle juice called sour savor cheese nipples. She was discarded but their business took off with a
  • only a few small hitches. One of them being that people did not particularly like the taste of sour savor cheese nipples. People, however were often curious about them and were
  • Bought them at Pick And Save. The Maalox bottles sold like crazy too. According to Dr. Sljhtrbe, there were a record number of Maalox moments, 5,726,966. It made the news. Dr. Mews
  • , the Pick And Save pharmacist, finally had to up and close the store to save his sanity. He whittled away his final years in a cabin in Alaska, making strange totem poles. Tosser.

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