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Ten years ago today, I went on a cruise to...

  • Ten years ago today, I went on a cruise to...
  • Argentina. It was my first cruise. Our next stop was Eldorado. My brothers that day had been extra annoying, pretending to throw each other overboard, even after being warned.
  • what am I supposed to do this whole time, gosh first my parents take me on a cruise and pay for it.... I hope they don't expect a thank you because I couldn't even bring all my
  • yeezy's
  • They only ran me about $750 to purchase them.
  • I needed to buy them because I had to have the best gift for my girlfriend.
  • I asked my friend if he had an extra three thousand dollars I could borrow. He said, "Yeah, but no. I'm not going to help my bud with some purely transactional relationship. If she
  • could only take me out on a date. I wish I had a pair of parmesan flip-flops.The are SOOO expensive. I beg to the illiminati every night so he will get me a pair. I want a date.
  • Then one day, January 23rd 2020 just fell onto my lap. It fell off the Dingleberry-a-day calendar on my desk at the plastic injection place. There was a phone number on the back. I
  • foolishly dialed the number, which was 1-800-KILLYOU. A guy named Dom answered. He told me he was tracing the call and would be right over to bump me off. I ran. I’m still running.

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