10

The dictator gathered the propagandists-to-be

  • The dictator gathered the propagandists-to-be for his instructions. "Instead of a resume, design a poster that proclaims your superiority over the other candidates. Only one of you
  • can control your career, your destiny and your fate.
  • By shaking it and waiting for the answer to your career, your destiny and fate appear on the purplish, multi-sided triangular die.
  • So there I was, shaking it, praying for an answer to my career, when Simon Cowell pulled up. He rolled his window down and said "You're shaking that thing with purpose. I like it."
  • I stopped for a second and looked down at the magic 8 ball. Through the blue liquid it said "not now". Simon saw my disappointed look and asked me to get in. He would take me to
  • the airport if I promised to buy him a six-pack of Corona using my fake ID. When we got to the tax free department, however, I remembered what the 8-ball had told me and decided
  • to filch on my promise. I excused myself for a "potty break" and dressed in the TSA disguise I had purchased from a Chinese costume site mid-April. Cheap. But as I made my way
  • back to work, no one seemed to suspect I was anything but a TSA worker. Passengers stepped aside mindlessly so that I could go ahead of them in line at the security gate.
  • Making note of which passengers I wanted to mess with & pat down, I pointed first to the fat lady in the pink dress. "Step aside, ma'am. Take off your shoes, please, & unzip your
  • handbag." But alas, the final fold's narrator had less wherewithal than an Airplane film, and lo and behold, the stolen hands fell out of the fat woman's handbag. Facepalm.

0 Comments

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!