32

Dear Princess Celestia, you have thirty minutes

  • Dear Princess Celestia, you have thirty minutes to move your chariot, or your chariot will be crushed into a cube. Yours sincerely, the Canterlot Traffic Control.
  • The Traffic Control in Canterlot took their jobs seriously. If you wanted to appeal an infringement it was like hitting your head against the wall. Princess Celestia had enough
  • clams to make the most bodacious chowder ever! Princess Celestia
  • wore the prettiest clam chowder dresses, made of genuine clam shells and fringed strips of half-cooked bacon. You could smell her a mile away. One day, the dogs ate her.
  • And then the dogs got diarrhea, which is what she intended to happen. She wanted to be transformed, to become toxic, to enter the earth's groundwater & invest herself in humankind.
  • she was a superbug, she was dynaflagellated, she was 'tnt', a terratoneurotoxined harbringer of epidemic inconteninence. After being excreted she flowed into a sewer where a rat
  • had the epic misfortune to internalize this superbug. Once inside, the superbug liquefied the rat's insides and caused them to be forcefully shot out via each and every orifice.
  • "This isn't science," lamented an observing scientist, "This is torture! Didn't you say we were keeping them alive and well taken care of for future experiments! You promised me!"
  • The strange 3 legged egg creatures looked up at the scientist with gratitude in their 5 eyes. There were little shouts of "Hear, hear!" A bold one spoke, "Please free us from this
  • torture. Deliver us from horror. Save our souls!"

0 Comments

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!