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Looking around all he saw were turkeys. Six-foot

  • Looking around all he saw were turkeys. Six-foot tall, wild turkeys. He'd been cornered. Now, all he could do was
  • create a diversion, McGiver style, using olny his belt buckle and the book of matches he scoffed from the local 7-11.
  • He spit out the gum he had been chewing and used it to attach the matches to the belt. Now if only he had a
  • left hand monkey wrench, he could get this bird off the ground and save Princess Peach. Short on time, he burped and
  • scratched an itch a normal man couldn't reach. Ever since he was a child, his double jointed shoulders allowed him to
  • pick up the ladies in a powerful way. He used all four limbs to climb onto the bar, and this usually impressed the
  • photographers. After a few more shots of Tequila, he was ready to move on and make his next move. Out the door he went
  • and ran smack into the woman of his dreams. She was 6' tall with legs that went on forever.
  • But there was something off about her. She was definitely missing
  • a few teeth, but no that wasn't it. I realized that we were doomed. It was totally a fake PRADA bag!!!

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