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If you took everything you know, and everything

  • If you took everything you know, and everything I know and put it all in a big pot and then randomly took half of it out, you'd have
  • an explanation for how our daughter turned out. She has your conceit, but my looks, your ambition, but my abilities, your charm, but my B.O., your
  • gender, and my taste in gender, and luckily our OCD canceled out (thank Darwin!). I've already gone about modifying your DNA for our next child. Your conceit has been turned into
  • a bon mot. My modifications have improved your DNA, why the gamma rays, oh, are you mad? Don't be mad, you're eyes! You're skin, you're turning green. Oh god, what have I done?
  • "HULK SMASH!" I turned off the tv. Too many superhero shows and movies lately. Everything in life is recycled. The only truly original beings were the neanderthals since they had
  • not been injected by aliens, or at least some of them had but they are now humans. So what T.V really needs is a super hero show featuring a neanderthal. It could be called
  • Meander Mall, where a Neanderthal vigilante patrols the premises using his awesome strength to beat down criminals. Along with his giant club, he would also carry a massive
  • and severely disfigured dong in his hands. His penis had been bitten by a radioactive Buddha statue when he was an infant and now the whole world could see the sordid after-effect.
  • He could never enjoy the pleasures of life that all the normaldongs got to enjoy. He could never go swimming, ride a bicycle, or make love to a woman, he contemplated suicide often
  • so he paid a visit to a local necromancer.For a good price(his soul), he expected nothing but the best and summoned Dr Kevorkian, Death's assistant,from the Seventh Circle of Hell.

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