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Day One: It’s difficult to sleep with that

  • Day One: It’s difficult to sleep with that overhead light on…200 watts of brilliant washed-out light blazing all night, and my eyelids unable to stop the light from seeping in.
  • Day One: I realized that I didn't have to put up with that blasted light! I could sneak over to my neighbors house and attack him while he slept. With menacing grin, I walked over
  • to his bedroom window and smashed it open with my axe. The glass cascaded down, fragments shimmering in the light from the streetlamp. I grabbed the window sill and hauled myself
  • through and I disappeared into the night. I ditched the axe in the woods and went home. The next morning there was a story on the news about an axe being found near a decapitated
  • maid who found fame portraying a maid in an indie hit about the axe killing of a maid. I sanded off my prints, forgetting I was already in the database. The jury was unsympathetic.
  • "GUILTY as charged!" the jury declared not quite 20 minutes later. Back in the slammer I went for another at least 10 years. "Oh hey, Bob!" I waved at the night shift prison guard.
  • I was incredibly depleted at the thought of another 10 years behind bars and began to cry at the thought of everything I would miss out in the world.
  • Would I ever get to see my beloved kitty, Sniffles, again? I wondered if cats were given visitation rights.
  • Turns out, they are. So I went to visit my cat Sniffles in the slammer. I brought him some treats, which were confiscated by the guards. Sniffles looked hardened by his ordeal and
  • took up pumping iron to pass the time. Years passed and Sniffles began to lose hope of ever leaving the slammer, until he pulled some favors for a gay inmate who helped him escape.

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