There was this guy--said he was a Certified

There was this guy--said he was a Certified Arse Expert. Turns out he was all mouth & trousers. He couldn't identify an arse if you gave him one on a plate with a cherry on top.

But that didn't stop him from becoming a small town plastic surgeon. He told me he taught himself how to "plastically surgurize people." I didn't believe anyone would let such a

n obvious fraud operate on them but they couldn't resist his 33 1/3% off sale! He once replaced a woman's breasts with her buttocks and sewed her elbows together, producing a look

so confusing even discerning connoisseurs had difficulty telling where her elbows ended & broad smile began. This gave rise to a philosophical debate known as the tuchus ruckus

shuckus amokus. Scholars travelled from across the globe to discuss this new philosophy. She grinned ever wider as she stood among them, enjoying it all just a little too much.

That was because she was drunk. Free booze in first class. She said to herself, "maintain" as she watched these world wide scholars discuss philosophy. She needed a breakfast sandw

Ich short on Stoicism and phenomenology but loaded with determinism and bean sprouts and avocado.

Such was my adopted lifestyle in 2017. I bought a fish for my cat to watch swimming. And she nearly ate it. It was like Kitty TV, channel 256. I had no cable or tellie, so she was

so bored all she could do was sit around and do nothing so i decided to write a book about me writing this book and published it hoping for big bucks.

But as much as I hoped to get money, in the end the book was a huge failure, and I was thrust into poverty. These days i can barely get by, and I acknowledge my plan backfired.