My goal is to find a way to resurrect the

My goal is to find a way to resurrect the internet of 20 years go: back before commercialism and social networking and media paranoia. Waybac just doesn't cut it, obviously. When

I go back to pre-20-years-ago internet, I will find Al Gore and terminate him. I can't allow him to lead the resistance against Machine Hegemony. He doesn't look like much but

the really dangerous ones never do. Al Gore was smart, too smart, and look where it got him. Machine hegemony marches on despite him thanks to time travel and my

Awareness the world did not end on December, 12, 2012 as the Mayans predicted. Al Gore was too embarrassed to show up for dinner at the Mayans' house. Nobody showed up that night.

They figured,"O sure.Show up at the Mayan house at the end of time, & there's bound to be blood sacrifices right? Not with me!" So Al & Tipper went to the Druids cermony at Stonehe

arst Asylum, to attend The Sacred Fire festival. Al & Tipper thrilled at being chosen official fire lighters, not knowing THEY were the kindling. "Time for your cranial electroshoc

-k therapy," said the High Priestess, and Al and Tipper smiled, knowing that mental health was good for the nation, as their over-sprayed hair went up in flames. Still, this did no

sway the High Priestess from her goal. Her acolytes saw to the screaming alphas that used to be Al and Tipper Gore by using a snow plow. The High Priestess turned her attention to

Gordon, the dwarf, who was dancing around. "Wow, this is high quality entertainment," the High Priestess said. She then totally forgot her princessful duties and watched for hours.

Soon the dwarf grew tired of entertaining the ugly High Priestess; he had come to see her sexy Step-Mother, but everything changed in a New York minute...a chandelier fell on him.