Fear did not keep her from opening the door

Fear did not keep her from opening the door although she was afraid. The brass knob was too hot to grasp her gown too thin to be of use as a protective mit. Sick wet sounds issued

from her sick wet orifice pet. She burned her hand. Flames lept in. She slammed the door. "Funky, we have to climb out the window!" Funky made wet squealing noises & hopped sloppil

ly through a petrecull that she had devised during her own occult studies. I loved my pet Funky, but the window seemed a safer bet. I hoped we would meet again as the flames

went hire. They burned burned burned, the ring of fire. I realized that the person we had conjured form the grave is Johnny Cash.

And as a welcoming gift, he'd given us all chlamydia. "Thanks John." I said. "Real swell." The man in black just said "Hey, you're just lucky Elvis didn't show up." "Really? Why's

that?" "Let's just say he spent a lot of time in the jailhouse." "Hey, a little less conversation would be nice," I started to say, but John wasn't listening or didn't care.

Great, just my luck.. I killed a guy to end up in solitary, & now I get to share the kitty with a monkey mouth, who thinks he's Johny Carson. "Say, got something in the Keister?"

Monkey Mouth had been a chef at Chez Olive. One day a shard of glass was found in onion soup and the patron beat him until the food police arrived. Both went to jail for 5 years.

Now tenderized, hardened, seasoned and smokey, he has returned to try his hand at a cooking show while still trying to find the real Sharder and get his revenge. Alongside him his

trusty dog Sputnik was more than happy to devour every dish he created. He never found success on the show, but Sputnik became known and loved by all as the fattest dog on Earth.