How's the weather up there?

Between me and the greatest American novel is Candide, a 15-pound Blue Russian cat who sits on my chest every morning.

One upon a time there was a dog named bacon. And all that dog wanted was to eat bacon and more bacon. Bacon ate so much bacon that his owner feared that he was going to turn into a

There's a tidal wave coming and the only hope of stopping it is to detonate a nuclear device at the exact same second the earthquake causing the wave stops shuddering

Everything is quiet in Comstock. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and everything seems to have an "It's Friday" air about it. The only thing that is different is the

Can't feel my legs. My heart beats rush as my head throbs to it's beat. I can't get my body moving. I'm trapped in my own skin. I don't think I can handle much more pressure.

I had a thing for fat Japanese girls. I also had a thing for antique pistols from the Civil War. I never thought that my two loves would coincide when I decided to

There are many beautiful things in life. And so obviously the ugly can prevail its self in any given beauty. Such as Jared and malikas wedding. And the ugly turn of events starts

The Rat-King tweeked his wiskers and observed Sewer Kingdom from high up on his throne (which is basically a pipe). Rat underlings scuttled to and fro

Clara sipped her Costa Rican rum and watched amusedly as the wild capuchin monkeys rifled through tourists' carelessly unattended beach bags. The capuchins were clever and

poop

I was eating my pet cat jiminy bob von jiggle mick thurmando arnsldo Lorenzo albert barrack the V junior because of the sudden rise of

Medeira drew circles in the waters of the fountain, chanting in a whisper the words of the only spell she could ever cast. It was forbidden, yet she did it anyway, knowing

Imagine my surprise when the jaguar tattooed on my bicep looked up at me and roared. Hacking bits of phlegm onto the sawdust floor, Earl turned off his tattoo machine and peered

"Dean" I said playfully tucking on his shirt, "we are already here, wake up sleepy head" my fiancé groaned and opened his eyes slowly. " morning" he said as I turned the car left

I remember, a few years back, before all this drama, a certain family picnic. It was before Dad was the most wanted criminal alive, Mom was on the run for safety, and I, inocent me

"The name's Dader, Varth Dader, and I will end you." Spoke the kid down the phone in his lowest voice which was actually as high as

The Nazi Party has returned

Rrrriing rrring. Click. "Hi there, Phil here from Homecon. Do you have a quick minute?" "I don't own time. It's a river." ".. greeaat. How many persons live in your household?" "

"Sir, please calm down. This car is bullet proof." The driver slipped his sunglasses on and shut the little sliding door that separated him from the rest of the hummer.