The bar smelled like fresh-squeezed hipster and easily was the worst place the band had ever played. They were crammed over in the corner between the men's room and a gigantic

"Congratulations Ma'am on becoming 120. Can you share the secret of your old age?" "That's easy. Avoid death." "Could you um.. elaborate?" "When he visits the home, I'm not here."

Two young cowboys went riding out one dark & windy day. Upon a ridge they rested as they went up on their way. When all at once a mighty herd of red eyed sheep they saw

Al reviewed the year's results. Screen time:Reading, Goal 1:1. Result 6:1. Percent calories from protein, fat, carbs, Goal 20/40/40, Result 10/60/30. Hours of sleep per night, Goal

He grew even more concerned that the schizophrenia was back when the strong aroma of asparagus pee wafted up from the bowl. He hated asparagus. He looked around. "Hello?"

Archipelago. Hot as hell. He hated this poisonous tail of islands. But he was a war criminal. His tale was from a time before the world had come to its senses.

On Valentine's Day 2013 at the Robot Restaurant in Harbin, China, IBM's Watson and Cleverbot celebrated their secret anniversary. Later they wandered through the Ice Festival's

In 2024 McDonalds finally gave in and refused to actually put ANYTHING of nutritional value in their food - meat was replaced with edible plastic, soda was actually a long-chain

The Ducks of Al-Hazred had once been ordinary fowl, but, having read from the gibbering madness written by the author of the Quackronomicon, what sanity they had went the way of

He placed the stranger's child right next to the folding star in the swimming pool library, hoping some thieving boy would not steal cast a spell upon him. The line of beauty, he

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen this is a final boarding call for Mr Al Kyder travelling to the Cocos Islands with Small Seats Airlines for flight SSA83089 at gate no. 22

Omni schmeetna, dos brooach peevno. Calenti opposum snided crass fwatt-twats. "Vo inc ra meatta?" Calenti russed. "No," replied Thelma. "There is no way I'm gonna do that."

Aunt Valetta paused from her squirrel ironing and her lip curled in disdain at Pa's offering. "Road kill don't make for good coats! I got my pride!" Her fur coat business

He was 6' 4", 240, and wore a lot of flannel. Drank whiskey like water and killed all his own meat. Was apolitical but felt passionately that Jacob was Bella's true soulmate. When

Sipping tequila was her way of telling me that the night had only just begun. Walking over to her I spotted

"Candy is a whore's name," she said disgustedly. "Or maybe a stripper. Has a Candy ever won a Nobel prize or

Terry was good at really chess. In fact, he was something of a prodigy. Of course you'd never know it since

Something crashed hard on the balcony. I looked out, but the light from the living room only extended a foot or two though the sliding glass door. The glass fogged and cleared.

The delivery had been late and the package beaten up intentionally. When you write "Fragile" on something, it's an invitation for destruction, but this package was spared by a

He dialed in the coordinates. This hydrogen cloud would destroy the hull of the NT-4140. It was a pleasure craft, used to tour the rings of Saturn. But the coordinates switched to