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33
I said, "Shamone!" "Shah-mone-ah!" then I rapped my cobra-headed cane against the Gaiaen portal and said, "Heee-heeee!" Thundering and rumbling broke across the wide expanse
Finished
2017-04-05 17:58:39
Took
5 years, 24 days, 23 hours, 39 minutes, 24 seconds
47
"This right here is what you call a Powder Keg." Said stupid Billy. God I couldn't stand him. Everytime we went out we got into trouble. He pointed his .357 at the jet fuel tank
Finished
2017-04-05 18:25:15
Took
5 years, 33 days, 18 hours, 4 minutes, 46 seconds
44
The line for the new iPad was three blocks long at 5am and people were getting testy. When an old lady tried to get to the bus stop, someone shouted “NO CUTS!” and a riot broke out
Finished
2017-04-05 18:32:45
Took
5 years, 20 days, 4 hours, 41 minutes, 1 second
56
After I'd used up most of the credit on prank calls, I thought it would be funny to text a message to a random person on the address list. I wrote "Where should I dump the body?"
Finished
2017-04-05 19:19:17
Took
5 years, 19 days, 7 hours, 20 minutes, 56 seconds
32
"That's it! Limp out of here. Stumble. Hobble your gold-brickin' ass out of here, with your hickory-crutch Trophy!" The shout echoed in the tavern.
Finished
2017-04-06 17:11:21
Took
5 years, 12 days, 21 hours, 2 minutes, 17 seconds
46
Picard, unshaven, pot-bellied, stained trousers, lounged on the sofa. He watched another episode of the Shield. He'd put Data in charge of everything and took a "break."
Finished
2017-04-06 18:24:52
Took
5 years, 13 days, 59 minutes, 55 seconds
42
though, to be honest, I’ve no idea why…Van Gogh and Renoir wore the old shawls. They had a bottle in brown paper bag between them. They pretended to be drunk old women.
Finished
2017-04-06 18:30:22
Took
5 years, 34 days, 22 hours, 1 minute, 22 seconds
54
She shoplifted all the time. It was her "thing." She didn't feel guilty either because she knew that retail was just a hot bed of lies. It was her experience at the GAP that
Finished
2017-04-06 18:53:34
Took
5 years, 37 days, 4 hours, 27 minutes, 49 seconds
34
Grandpa carried on, "Back in my day, our good ideas lit torches, not bulbs. I remember when I caught wind of some necromancing scallawags, ooh boy. Ghosts don't like fire, nor do
Finished
2017-04-06 19:51:14
Took
5 years, 60 days, 4 hours, 17 minutes, 56 seconds
41
She shivered, rubbing her hands together. The snow was falling rapidly, and soon she would have to find a new home. Unconsciously fingering the necklace around her neck, she sighed
Finished
2017-04-07 13:13:40
Took
73 days, 2 hours, 54 minutes, 16 seconds
56
Heaven's Gate cult leader Marshall Applewhite had the last laugh. The really hard last laugh because when they got on the spaceship they saw a bunch of Mormons on their way
Finished
2017-04-07 16:35:07
Took
5 years, 40 days, 16 hours, 57 minutes, 6 seconds
43
My aunt has a colostomy bag. She's shown me the bag, and the "stoma." It was so gross, but I felt bad for her so I pretended not to be grossed out. Why? Why must I lie to her?
Finished
2017-04-07 20:52:36
Took
5 years, 16 days, 4 hours, 3 minutes, 56 seconds
61
"Russians. Koreans. Wookies. Lego People. Hicks! Burt Reynolds fans! Liposuction!" Suzan kept shouting clues. Mark stared in disbelief. She was the worst Superpassword partner
Finished
2017-04-07 21:02:30
Took
5 years, 16 days, 4 hours, 6 minutes, 45 seconds
50
She was tall, blonde, and beautiful. No one knew her real name. She was simply known as "Boochie." Cool and intelligent, Boochie was called upon often by the CIA to pose as a
Finished
2017-04-07 21:10:08
Took
3 years, 38 days, 2 hours, 28 minutes, 18 seconds
40
It was a bright spring morning. I headed off to school as usual, but I couldn't stop thinking that something was different about this day. I started to
Finished
2017-04-07 21:36:55
Took
5 years, 17 days, 1 hour, 2 minutes, 45 seconds
53
BREAKING NEWS: Cindy Shaffer just stepped out wearing pinstriped black pants, with a bright red top, and the absolute shocker was the chunky faux turquoise pendant around her neck.
Finished
2017-04-07 22:16:41
Took
5 years, 58 days, 4 hours, 35 minutes, 25 seconds
43
Some people like rain drops on a tin roof. Others like basking in the sun. Kids like to build forts in the snow. But my favorite weather is heads above them all, sleet.
Finished
2017-04-07 22:34:01
Took
2 years, 343 days, 21 hours, 20 minutes, 52 seconds
44
The crossfit games have a 166% year over year growth rate!
Finished
2017-04-07 22:52:48
Took
177 days, 1 hour, 28 minutes, 51 seconds
84
What the hell were you thinking when you stuck your head in the toilet and flushed? Good Lord, son, I thought you were smarter than that. Now look atcha...you're all wet and stinky
Finished
2017-04-08 00:52:54
Took
2 years, 194 days, 5 hours, 34 minutes, 51 seconds
37
It was crowned the "Starbucks Crash" by the mob and the press. The incident was notorious and retold with sneers and grimaces and became synonymous with
Finished
2017-04-08 17:59:04
Took
4 years, 362 days, 6 hours, 50 minutes, 45 seconds
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