She shoplifted all the time. It was her "thing."

She shoplifted all the time. It was her "thing." She didn't feel guilty either because she knew that retail was just a hot bed of lies. It was her experience at the GAP that

led her to believe that Malaysian child slavery was the only way to produce enough anal beads to meet her needs. Unfortunately, her job at BurgerKing had spoiled her into thinking

that even anal beads should come with fries and a drink. A Malaysian child slave (who spoke English, somehow) said, "Fast food and a clogged butt are a bad combo. Combo #2, though,

is meiwei." I looked at the picture of Combo # 2. Hmmm...nasi lemak with a side of rendang. "OK, I'll try that," I pointed. The Malaysian child slave nodded in approval and

quickly took our money and ran off to freedom. I was unphased by the child as I had just spotted an impressive stall selling pink mobile phone covers. "Awesome, I've always wanted

a strawberry shortcake phone cover to match with my handbag. But my obsession went further. I arranged for plastic surgery in a private clinic. I would look like her

Sister, who was a dead ringer for Yoko Ono. It was one risky cosmetic makeover. It also cost a million dollops. The situation room was glowing red, for some reason.

Dr. Strangelove was the first one to notice but had to fight off paralysis so was not able to alert us in time. The detonation caught us all by surprise. They expected YokoOnoTron.

What they got was Grandma Lucy and her jar of current jelly in which she had accidentally dropped her dentures. The explosion had propelled her into Dr. Strangelove's laboratory.

"A new secret ingredient for my bomb. Here Aunt Lucy ride this current bomb down with me while we end the world." "You loon!" She shouted and snapped her dentures onto his arse.