Up. Down. Up. Down. The twisted game of gravity. The cruel litany of man after man at the gallows. Up. Down.

If I could back as an animal I would come back as an octopus and hide in my ex-girlfriend's tub so I could

"...Now this is different," I said. Tiny little bumps were beginning to form on my knuckles. The weird thing was, that they were a sickly green color. "Wonder how this happened..."

"But the end of the world... bla bla.. mayans.... bla bla... higher consciousness... bla bla....intergalactic alignment yada yada...." "Uhum, yeah.... pass the potatoes honey"

Ms. Sneedly gasped as she looked over Tommy' s shoulder. It took a moment for her to speak. "What did you draw there, Tommy?" she asked unsteadily, trying to smile. Tommy stared up

The Gecko turned to Obama and said, "Listen Chap, I put a lot of cash in your war chest a few years ago. All I want is for the government to approve my buying Farmer's insurance

I beat my mate at darts and stinky farts last night. He wasn't too pleased. He'd held both records for 2 years running. Tonight it's the burping contest and I'm eating lots of

Botero is closer to my ideal than Modigliani. Rubens knew what beauty was. I was born in the wrong era. Big Bob took a break in the museum coffeeshop. Yolanda saw him coming

Nothing like the smell of a corpse fire in the morning. Sure, Tom had seen better days, a few of them in bed with my wife, but that's why he's pantsless in a firepit. His big red

I start 'em. You finish 'em. I set 'em up. You knock 'em down. Let's do this dang thing. Ready? Good. You're gonna need your A-game today.

Knivskjellodden. Just a few more meters in the icy water and a sheer cliffs face between him and the end of his journey. His start in Gavdos seemed eons ago. Even extreme athletes

Icy rain pelted the tin roof. Burke pulled the sheep skin rug up exposing her feet. Sure there wasn't much but it was shelter as long as it stood against the whistling wind

He slowly s l o w l y pried the cap off the 22 oz'er under his desk. A seeming success, he glanced around. Nobody noticed. Then he poured the stout into an opaque mug. Ahhh Friday.

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She was attractive enough, even with the crooked nose and the thin scar that created a bare line through her eyebrow, but she was the kind of woman who didn’t wear make-up and

"I love your garden," she laughed. I showed her the chocolate mint, the lavender, the nightshade....

Fighting the rats has become my obsession. I know my battle is futile, but I press on. I hear them plotting in their rat councils, forming committees, and planning their

The thing is, it was pitch black. I couldn't see anything, except her eyes. I could see her eyes, shining like an ax's blade. They almost rang. But there was no light, so how

When he reached for the last fry he heard a voice, "Please don't eat me." He looked in the bag. The last french fry was weeping and looked at him with such sorrowful eyes.

OK, I have had about enough of that, "detention this afternoon". "Not this afternoon, I have to go to practice or I won't be able to play this weekend". You should have thought