he was a carpenter.

Most parents don't realize that how a child acts at age 3 is a warning as to how he will act at age 13. If you don't find the right balance between parental control & independence

5th Grade

...You two timing jerk!" My girlfriend pushed me out of the futon. "wha-?" I groaned. "In my dream, you were smooching Jolie in a pink tutu!" "But It's just a..." "Then explain

I am a sick man. I am an angry man. I am a ridiculous man. I am a non-descript man. I am a superfluous man. I am a forgotten man. I am a distraught man. I am not a man at all. But

It was a miracle. Ninja Pope, scooped from the volcano by God's own hand, awoke, alive & smoldering on the slope of Devil's Mountain. Flying nuns circled over him in the red sky.

My DVDs are being packed up and put into storage as

Some would say she was a cat hoarder. A little crazy, but innocently overrun with cats. But I knew better. Actually she was evil, conniving with the cats to

I stepped onto the roof of the building, looking in awe at all the little lights. From up here, London looked like a swarm of fireflies. A twinkling cloud of light.

The first we saw of the Carpet King was a cloud of dust coming along the road to the farm. My mother was sitting on the step, picking stones out of the dried beans in a big enamel

Her heart sank on viewing the photo of her ex boyfriend tagged along with her best friend on Facebook. Him doing shots off her belly button, her with a look of flushed glee.

Fuddlewacker! That's the only thing I could think of at the sight of it. My uncle's catch-himself-cursing word. Fifteen eggs perfectly balanced in a pyramid defied explanation.

Brett had teased Samantha since the beginning of fifth grade. When this insecure, overweight girl threatened him with a water balloon, he never imagined that she would follow thru

Spellinghamstein took the strange object out of the box. The box contained a paper that seemed to shownwhat the object was for. These "Direction" asked you to put a pencil in

I was sure I had discovered the law of six degrees of youtube, "Any video can be linked to '2 girls 1 cup' in 6 steps or less".

I woke up with my knees against the seat in front of me. My head was splitting, and there was a very bad smell that seemed to overpower me. I could not remember where I was, and

Maybe it was because I was still half-asleep but this morning when I was showering I almost started to fly twice. Since my shower is basically a stand-up glass coffin that would've

Mia wrote out daily schedules solely for the thrill of scribbling over them. As an agent of minor chaos, such was her way of life. Unfolding a sock could start a chain reaction of

Jim was a weeds farmer. But wherever he planted his weeds seeds, nothing sprouted. "Where do all the weeds go?" he asked the heavens as his downward-growing weeds emerged in

Bananas suddenly burst forth from a hole in the wall as Cindy skipped down her school's hallway, preventing her from reaching her destination: PS 105, Advanced Geometry.