There I lie, covered with warm piss, eating cold Ramen -- Chicken flavor.

Dear Editor: I believe I have an improvement. Can I have a do-over? Dear Sir: This isn't a game of stickball. We just spent $600,000 to publish your Complete Guide to

The Lobster Wolf bared its fangs and waved its claws threateningly in the air. Liam Neeson, back up against a tree, stared it down, armed only with a KFC spork and a copy of

Critics are praising this folding story. "The Greatest Story Ever Told!" says the Hollywood Reporter. "You couldn't see that end coming!" says Rolling Stone. 'In a world where

I have so much homework and I don't want to do it.

The gay man looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I'm so happy."

.ksir nwo ruoy ta sdrawkcab etirW

The night's pallor matched that of the surface's shadows, blending the environment into a singular darkness. Detective James Manatee, combat chopsticks in hand, investigated the

I was finally on my way outta the joint after the bum Grand Theft Auto rap that got pinned on me. My cousin Tony had come up on a Caddy and when he got pinched by the fuzz he put

My dog woofed at me and I said what do you want Peanut Butter. He talked to me and my mother said WTF hahah my dogs such a douche Camel. my mother is also my sister

What a stupid thing, Fate. The fact that this guy, whose head was about to be blown off by me, would start lecturing me about it, was just unbelievable! Fate was a stupid thing.

Welcome to Pimp my Meal! with our cheapskate Chef Fats Waller. "Greetings greetings fellow gormandizers. Are you ready to grub-a-dub-dub? Today I pimp up this 2$ mac & cheese meal

I had a dream that I was covering in whip cream and Pamela Anderson was there ready to lick it off, but before she could her tongue transformed into a

The Lazy Suzanne trundled more heavily than usual. A flour bag, a cookie tin & a bag of english muffins rolled by, but then as it slowed a small shriveled human head came into view

"Ipswich is the last stop on this line," chortled the conductor. " Never anybody gets off there. Last I heard the Adicts were all gone. Disappeared just

Squirt me she said. She pushed out her chest. He hit her will full force. Hot liquid shot out from the garden hose because it had been laying out. Her neck burned and she

Owls, everyone is fond of owls. except for mice and shrews, and

Mission Log Entry 1: "3 a.m. My tent collapses again. I hope the cheap TVs will be worth it. The mother of 3 behind me gives me dirty looks. Can I trust her? Ooh, a door opens!"

This saga begins with a little man living in a cave. One day, the little man woke up to the sound of a bear sniffing his pants that were hanging from a rock a few feet away. Scared

Professor Xavier tried to break the news gently. "Thank you for applying, but the school is really intended for young people with mutant powers, so regrettably ..." Mr. Potatohead