"Bread pudding is exactly how I got in such amazing shape!" Arnold Schwarzenegger definitely never said.

Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, MEow meow MEow meow Meow MEow MEow Meow MEow, meow meow meow meow

This is intolerable. I placed my steak order an hour ago. Where was the waiter? I went to the kitchen- it's deserted. Weird. Wait, is that blood on the floor? Wha- ung! (blackness)

The stroke had destroyed Sherlock Holmes's short and long term memory. His analysis was impeccable but he could never remember it. In fact he couldn't remember when

She stepped out of the darkness only to see that familiar shape, to hear that familiar noise; whoosh whoosh whoosh. A blue box appeared out of nowhere. She couldn't understand what

But I was not! And I began to second guess myself in regards to asking myself is this what I really want to do for the rest of my life? And my mind would tell me YES! So I stayed

It was talked about for years, and it was finally done. The HR Red Flag statue. It stood on Nate's desk proudly & I think he enjoyed the attention. We knew better. We knew it

I'm forty five years old,' he said 'and I've never had sex.' I looked at him again. Not because of the statement he had made but because he didn't look 45.

There was no way (NO WAY) I could walk away from the table down this big. I simply had to keep playing, any other option was unacceptable. Where was my cocktail?! The heat from the

I never finish anything I Sta

"I'm so 'the life of the party' that my own cats think I'm inanimate." I started this dating profile as a joke; now it was just sad. I needed someone with a compatible joke profile

"Don't do it, man! Just be cool."

If there is no school tomorrow

Last night I discovered a tiny hole in the bedroom wall of my apartment. My jaw dropped when I looked through the hole and saw my neighbor in the throes of passion with a

"And that is why I will never wear top hats ever again." Aaron turned to me. "So, how about you, George?" he said. "Do you have any irrational fears of harmless objects?"

There once was a girl named Soap and she was extreamly addicted to waffles. One day she was eaten by a dinosaur who had diroea and suffered from drepression. The end

He waited in the rest room until he heard someone in the stall next to him. He tapped with his right foot, got a response, then was surprised when through the glory hole came a

No government should ever be in the business of killing its own citizens. This is doubly so when the government gets to set the rules about which people it is allowed to round up

Where those..............Chickens?! At least, that was my mind's attempt of labeling what I saw. They did look like the egg-laying type and had all the necessary bird features. Wh

"Oh no. That's bad!" Sharon thought. Infront of her lay a letter from Harvard which had been adressed to her daughter Caroline. Caroline is a lively and happy 12 year old, who...