SnowWhite decided she needed to improve her sex life.The Prince wouldn't even hear once she brought up the dwarfs,so she tried a different approach:she asked Aurora for Carabosse'

"Someday, Tomas, we will go over those mountains. What do you think is on the other side?" Tomas shook his head. "I don't know, Matthias. Green hills? Clear, fresh water?"

Storage Unit Five waited

Maybe next time the arsonist could torch the Ed Hardy store.

No, it's Mrs. Robison. R-O-B-I-S-O-N. No "n." Pete smiled weakly. "So then it's not awesome?" Pete shrugged, "It's better than nothin." A mazda 3 honked its horn in the parking

Pooh left the therapist's office elated. He felt empowered. He'd finally gotten in touch with his inner self, something that he repressed. Piglet said, "Hi Pooh" and Pooh ate him.

He picked up the twenty fifth anniversary issue of the Whole Earth Review. There was a sheaf of pages stuffed in at page 70. All concerning "The Wave" - Fascism in public school.

Jody readied himself for sleep. A silent and still reprieve (he hoped) from the mad, arbitrary clutter of the world in which he was embedded. Ten silent decades later, Jody awoke t

Carnivorous

She was bubbly and plump. A little monkey-faced teenager, porky with acne and wearing glasses, tank top and cut offs. She was talking about my little ponies at the Starbucks.

I zapped and came across an episode of CSI. ??????? CSI? They only have this show on Wednesdays. My heart missed a beat. It must be a mistake, I told myself. it's Tuesday, it has

The cat sat on his face. Curled up. Thought real heavy thoughts.

Citizens of Rock Ridge! I stand before you today, humbled that you have chosen me as your representative, and secure in the knowledge that our future together is a bright one! Let

'If I could bring you back to life, I really would, I really would - Mama.' said Richard looking at the old, sepia-tinged photograph. The blood-stained knife was still in his hand

Nona and Squawker were bonding for the 12th year on the library roof. Employees noted all sorts of strange noises at 6am local time. So.e came to work early on purpose just to be

"Mammy, here's Miss Scarlett's vitals." Dr. Williams hated her Medical Assistant. She treated the hospital like it was the set from Gone with the Wind.

Don't wake up. Waking up means realizing that the nightmare doesn't end. Nothing is real. Everything is a dream. Don't wake up. Don't open your eyes.

"Why not?" you said. "What could happen?" you said. "Aw, what the hell" I said. Now here we are. Facing certain death, most likely an excruciatingly painful demise, and yet

One day lil' J was in LA. He was very lost in the city so he asked a guy named Derek for directions to the nearest casino. Instead of helping him, Derek wrecked him like a skrub.

Once upon a time, there was a boy, a basketball, a dream. He practiced every hour of everyday. Not many people knew he was an orphan. Just him and a basketball against the world.