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  • 23
    Avatar
    "The Tommy Gnosis version is the far superior rendition," she spat, vehemently showering biscotti crumbs all over her rapt group of disciples. "Tom and Jerry? More like Uncle Tom
    Finished
    2016-09-03 21:59:38
    Took
    3 years, 348 days, 32 minutes, 25 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    I challenge myself to use just seven words. Words? seven, I challenge just. Use to just challenge myself.
    Finished
    2017-08-22 17:55:09
    Took
    4 years, 325 days, 1 hour, 38 minutes, 13 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    The human race, to which so many of my readers belong, has been playing at children's games from the beginning, and will probably do it till the end which is nigh. Much nigher than
    Finished
    2016-07-27 07:47:54
    Took
    3 years, 272 days, 18 hours, 51 minutes, 32 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" yelled Gandulf, "Unless you read The Simarillion in its entirity." As the new Denfence Against the Dark Arts professor, Harry thought he was a bit of a tool.
    Finished
    2016-05-09 03:50:03
    Took
    3 years, 186 days, 12 hours, 52 minutes, 56 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    Being an on-the-scenes reporter is tough enough, but with as many restraining orders as I have, it's nearly impossible. "As you can see, 501 feet behind me, the new animal hospital
    Finished
    2015-03-22 18:10:46
    Took
    2 years, 137 days, 2 hours, 41 minutes, 1 second
  • 23
    Avatar
    The cat proudly dropped the gift at my feet. I brought a paper towel to remove the token of appreciation. Odd, it looked like a silver astronaut.
    Finished
    2012-11-07 21:32:53
    Took
    1 day, 4 hours, 50 minutes, 23 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    I stood staring at the pile of warm, freshly dried laundy. Won't anybody FOLD with me?
    Finished
    2016-07-26 19:47:59
    Took
    3 years, 260 days, 17 hours, 54 minutes, 35 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    "Today we'll be making our very own pulleys," said Ms. James. A thousand fists punched through the classroom walls. Oh no, Luddites! Destroying another science lab! The emergency
    Finished
    2013-04-15 01:57:29
    Took
    150 days, 11 minutes, 39 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    He wore a Turban and nothing else. He was the Naked Sikh and his only super power was a giant
    Finished
    2017-08-31 15:13:58
    Took
    4 years, 274 days, 19 hours, 52 minutes, 34 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    Capital Idea. I'd soon be hobnobbing with Bollywood starlets. Indians liked snow but the cold, brrrr. My patented ToastySnow™ already covered the landfill slopes outside Mumbai
    Finished
    2018-02-19 00:39:23
    Took
    5 years, 71 days, 12 hours, 6 minutes, 2 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    "Hi Mo, I'd like a special. Can you mix up 1 finger each of Pernod, Jagermeister, Robitussin, & Bacardi 151 and light it?" "Sure, you want that with a Azodicarbonamide sandwich?"
    Finished
    2016-05-25 11:35:31
    Took
    3 years, 166 days, 11 hours, 28 minutes, 29 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    Sylvia had booked a walk in the Enclave and enjoyed the sights and smells of wild plants. But even here the flowers were pollinated by nanobots.
    Finished
    2017-05-15 13:51:51
    Took
    4 years, 136 days, 20 hours, 33 minutes, 23 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    Connel stood on the roof of Century tower in his kilt, inflated his Bag pipe and on the count of midnight began to play Auld Lang Syne.
    Finished
    2015-11-17 16:03:20
    Took
    2 years, 320 days, 16 hours, 55 minutes, 58 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    "What did you say your name was again, sir?" the clerk said, cocking his head. The tall bearded man looked down and muttered, "I said...my name is...Turly Curd."
    Finished
    2016-03-22 14:50:31
    Took
    3 years, 77 days, 10 hours, 6 minutes, 22 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    "This here with the holes, kinda neutral tasting is Swiss, & this stinky moldy soft cheese is French - what else?, & the biggest cheese of all, well that's Texan with a captial T"
    Finished
    2016-12-02 14:38:07
    Took
    3 years, 330 days, 17 hours, 56 minutes, 12 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    "What am I even doing with my life?" She thought. "I'm so sad and depressed. All I do is sit in my room cutting myself. I need to get out. I need to change." She gazed up at the
    Finished
    2013-02-24 16:42:37
    Took
    42 days, 3 hours, 28 minutes, 34 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    One day I was out in my garden pulling at a weed when the weed started to pull back. The weed pulled so hard i was planted in the soil up to my waist
    Finished
    2017-08-28 00:50:57
    Took
    4 years, 220 days, 16 hours, 52 minutes, 56 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    The police broke into what they thought was a meth lab, but were surprised to find a guy in dark blue robes and a pointy hat holding a glowing alembic. "The Philosopher's
    Finished
    2016-07-20 13:18:15
    Took
    3 years, 167 days, 21 hours, 6 minutes, 26 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    This fold has the potential of high art. Vaunting arches of great literature, buttressed by a nonet of scintillating folds springing from the dark recesses of our tortured souls
    Finished
    2017-07-18 12:25:31
    Took
    4 years, 158 days, 13 hours, 7 minutes, 34 seconds
  • 23
    Avatar
    But in the version of Earth that they had just slid to, Microsoft and Apple had both failed miserably. The resulting vacuum had been filled by Timex-Sinclair, and, now T/S 10000s
    Finished
    2016-11-07 03:55:07
    Took
    3 years, 268 days, 7 hours, 20 minutes, 41 seconds
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