"Hi Mo, I'd like a special. Can you mix

"Hi Mo, I'd like a special. Can you mix up 1 finger each of Pernod, Jagermeister, Robitussin, & Bacardi 151 and light it?" "Sure, you want that with a Azodicarbonamide sandwich?"

"Mo, you can't serve Azodicarbonamide, it's banned in Latvia ever since we joined the EU" said the Sven the Alcoholic. The yellow sandwich was a curiousity filled with

peyote and small quantities of deer crap. Mo pushed Sven the Alkie aside and took a bite of the sandwich and a swig of the Drink With a Very Long Name But Not As Long As This,

Mo was mean. Sven was stupid. Together they fought crime very badly. Their first attempt at rescuing a cat in a tree resulted in a sexual assault charge and a student loan.

..proving, at least, that Mo and Sven were not opposed to going out on a limb when a crime-stopping situation arose. Chief Buxley gave them some easier assignments. "Go down to the

corner store, get me a large chocolate milk and a big bag of those donuts with the powdered sugar on them. Here's $10. Bring back the change" As usual, Mo and Sven bollucksed it up

. They brought back a first edition of George Orwell's 'Road to Wigan Pier'. "Thanks Mo, thanks Sven," I said with just a hint of sarcasm, "but this ain't feeding my donut hunger

Now." I was reminded of how donut places had become an endangered species due to the ban on junk food. It was now being enforced, three years after the food police passed it.

Some unscrupulous people set up spots in dark ally ways where they would trade the banned junk snacks for a steep amount of cash. It wasn't drug dealing the popo had to regulate.

So as the trans fatty acids cartel goes to prove, people just want to do things they're not allowed to do by nature.