Dan put the pedal to the floor and the tan Honda squealed out into the traffic. There were still thumps coming from the trunk, from the full grown pig he'd had to wrestle

He kicked the peg and the air filled with expectorant. He always held his breath when the toilet flushed, wishing he could change his clothes too. Some amount swirled into the air

The boy made his way through the alleyway.

Angie took pride in her Crescent rolls. She thought no one kenw they were Pillsbury, but she was wrong. Jeff hated Pillsbury. Ergo, he hated Angie. He began poisoning her one day

last night i was at a party, i can not remember what happened, i woke up with a shark in the bath, my girl friend hanging from her thongs out the window......

His very own War of the Roses started over the thermostat. He'd bump it down a notch, she'd bump it up two. After she (accidentally?) mixed in a red sweater with his whites, he

Disco balls are really the ultimate accessory. They are so versatile and really do snazz up any outfit. Too bad my boss seems to think they are a perfect substitute for a nice set

He was a 6' 4" 250 lb albino with pigtails. He usually sported snazzy Tshirts with punch lines like 'Keep staring, I might do a trick' and a nice Irish kilt. I met him for drinks

If I know what I know, because I knew it, and I can't know what I don't know, can I intuit?... If I intuit, I must have knew it, so my plea must be "I'll do it!" When "I'll do it"

The barmaid exclaimed "If you don't shut the hell up i'm going to bust you in the mouth." He gazed at her breasts longingly and couldn't help himself. "Which One!" The Ambulance

The day I went to heaven was possibly one of the best days of my life (life?). God was pretty swell, and not having to piss was good, but the best thing was

Swallowed my boat, he did. There I was, in the belly of the beast. Not sure what to do, I reflected on how I got here. Speedos, women construction workers and Somali pirates. Still

It was something about zippers that always confused me- this was a trait that became especially apparent whenever I had a lady friend over. Everything would be going well until

Nuggets. Nuggity nug nug nuggets. Mmm mmm, yes sir.

If there's one thing I hate it's midget amateur snowmobilers with a lisp and a hairlip. If there's two things I hate it's

Today was an odd series of events, 99% of the world's inhabitants had been turned into zombies.And the1% of survivors were trapped on a floating isle.

There was a time when dragons flew over this village, unicorns grazed in the meadow, and Gods lived in the mountains. Now, those who are left have only the songs of

Another day of luckless job-hunting left Morraine depressed and frustrated. She had the education and the experience, and her asking salary was very reasonable, she thought.

"This bloody time-tracking software." Kirt violently lashed out with his foot at the computer tower sitting next to him. "It's lost all my entries again." His company had always

It was a cold dark night when mrs. bobo tried to kill herself