The first thing that hit me after the crash was the sound. Or the lack thereof, I should say. One minute we were traveling toward L.A. at 100 mph, the next we were buried in a pile

There's something I need to tell you. It's hard for me to say, but I must be truthful. I'm a Scottish highland dancer.

Little did I know, I truly was "looking like a fool with my pants on the ground."

The first thing I did when I got off the plane was

The hurricane caused untold destruction just outside Nellis Air Force Base in Nevada. Heavy rain driven by gale-force winds combined with the desert sands creating

Bruce Hammersnatch always played by the rules. Always. Today would be no different.

So, there I was, sitting in my car, listening to Hall and Oates (You make-a my dreams come true-oo, woo-oo-woo-woo-oh yeah-woo-ooo-) when my dashboard happened to explode.

I looked into the sky and saw chuck norris flying, doing his paper round like he does every day at 3 pm, but today he had a brand new cape

"I wanted to be a haiku poet," Elizabeth said, "but never could make the turns work." It was a common complaint.

*CRASH* If he's told her once, he's told her a hundred times not to place wine glasses close to the alarm clock. However

It was a dark and stormy night.

Exceeding the velocity of light is trivial. It is much like flying. You must first forget that it's not possible and be willing to be experience non-light. It's much more difficult

Stepping through the door was hard for Marvin. He hadn't left his home in seventeen years. At first, he just hadn't seen the need. After a little time had passed, he

With long legs crossed, she sat across from me in the little office and mutt5ered to herself, "Where to begin?" She raised her head and said, "You won't believe this but I..

Carstairs lit his 40th cigarette of the day, tossing the lighter back in his desk drawer. "Hey Sylvia! Get in here," he called to his secretary. "I need the Singleton file, quick."

It was six of one and half a dozen of another, two and a half fifths of another and thirty one sixty fourths of the

Anthropologists have found evidence which proves ancient cultures used such bizarre materials as tree bark, paper and cloth as preventative measures against

Look again at the Maltese vertigo near the keypoint. Subservient feelings will attempt a cover up, but you must not give way. Look and see them, on the canyon cliffs, bleeding on

Sand. Everywhere. Driven by the hot dry winds, beating against the windows and doors, the desert sand was finding its way in. As the house groaned under the pressure of each gust,

Polly wanna cracker? Polly? FOR THE LAST TIME