"Grandpa, did you ever have sex?" "Well, Willie, if remember correctly the last time I wet my whistle it was at the drive-in.about 1955 with your Grandma during..." "Wiillard, shut

When God explained the snakes roll, Snake had a hisssy fit. "Why do I get all the creepy ssshhhtuff? And why do I take the wrap for those ssstupid hairlesss sssinnerss?

Just as they were eating the herb & wine chicken casserole, the dog wandered in from the kitchen and was extravagantly sick on the rug.

Do you ever read something you have written and wondered, "When did I write this?" and "Who is Susan?" and "What is the statute of limitations in this state?"

While shopping at the market of ideas, I passed a fear monger barking his wares. "W wants your jobs, If you elect X he will take all your Y. World will end if you don't do Z"

Down on my luck. "DUCK. DONG. MADAM WONG" read the fortune. I squinted making out "wonglongtimeloanscheap.com". HopefuI, I typed the address into the computer at an internet cafe

There was a mole deep in the Folding Story diaspora. S/he/It would copy folds and paste them in the 'How not to do it' sections of creative writing websites. Detective J Manatee

Dear Cosmo, I've got a friend, a really good friend and I've just discovered that my friend has got another friend. What should I do?

if i had a million dollars

As my life flashed before my eyes, I remembered where I put my keys.

Ding-a-ling. Ding-a-ling-a-ling. Ding-a-ling. Ding-a-ling-a-ling. Ding-a-ling. Ding-a-ling-a-ling. Ding. Ding. Ding-a-ling.

I never understood why chocolatiers mix chocolate with chilies, Is it that they're both from the Americas? The alliteration? Or just an evil plot to ruin two perfect ingredients?

"Ich bin ein Berliner" translates to "I am a donut.", but most who entered the modest donut shop on Meinigerstrasse associated the name with loftier things. The Baker Manfried's

"Kill 'em! Kill 'em all!" The captain shouted over the booming of the cannons. "Show no mercy - you cowards didn't join the Galactic Fleet for nothin'!" He grips his laser gun and

"That's how the cookie crumbles - you step on it," the detective muttered. A Keebler elf's corpse, with a boot print in the torso's stead, was at her feet. What murderous hiker or

Jasmine smelled just like her name. I absorbed her scent and took a step into the cascading light of the furnace. "Jasmine, is it really you?" I've been waiting

The technician poured in a loose collection of nuts and bolts, and then screwed shut the panel on the back of his skull. "Back to work!" hollered the boss, as Kevin rattled back to

| I had this dog named peanut butter. i walked in the room and there he was, watching

Look at the screen. Just rest your eyes and stare at the green dot in the center. After a few seconds, your peripheral vision will fade. That's when you see them...

"Bye, Brad!" I called. "Thanks for the ride! I owe ya one!" Brad smiled & tilted his chin. "No problem. Quiche you later."