Just as they were eating the herb & wine

Just as they were eating the herb & wine chicken casserole, the dog wandered in from the kitchen and was extravagantly sick on the rug.

(true story). The worst part was they recognized the casserole, along with the lemon truffle dessert. After the last of the drive heaves Duke began lapping it up. The dinner guests

tried to act as if nothing was amiss but nobody asked for seconds and most plates departed for the kitchen with an abundance remaining. A flustered host asked if the guests would

care for dessert & coffee. "NO!" everyone shouted in unison. An awkward silence commenced around the table. Eyes darted, unwilling to make contact. Nervous laughter. Finally, Frank

stood up and slammed his fist for attention. Frank glared at the wedding party. "One of you is a murderer." They looked puzzled. Frank checked his phone, "Oh, sorry, wrong room."

One of the wedding guests stood up and said, "Hey, I may be a marauder, but I'm no murderer!" Frank nervously retreated with his phone in hand. "Damn autocorrect," he muttered.

But actually Frank had meant to type the crude word. He hoped it would upset the priest and stop the wedding. The priest's phone pinged.

Wedding bells were ringing. The priest's face was burning. In his sanctioned, sacred inbox on his immaculate iPhone were the words: "lol u mad faget?" In the middle of the wedding,

the priest ignored the text and pronounced them husband & wife. "You may kiss the bride!" As they kissed, he snuck his new iPhone out and texted back, "

HRM? WHAT? Go to hell!" The screen reflected the blue light everywhere and Ol' Grandpa Jenkins noticed, "YOU! You're te- UHGN!" grandpa Jenkins suffocated, the priest was spared.