So there I was. Sitting in the priciples 45 degree office. All alone while the principle left the room for a minute. Then, all of a sudden, the phone rang. Smuthered by curiosity I

"Arre you ready?" Those three words broke my inatentive stare. "Sure." I replied as I adjusted my suit cuff. We walked up the stairs, and knocked on the door, and waited. Soon the

Rachel had always loved figs, but wondered what all the fuss about figgy pudding was about. She decided that only way to satisfy her curiosity was a pilgrimmage to

I had the least stressful job in the world: traffic man for the 3 am local news. Usually I just got in front of the camera and said, "Open roads, folks!" But tonight was different.

3 big green elephants were stampeding towards me. I ran as fast as I could but

The pharmacist on board the submarine successfully operated on Seaman Darrell Rector for appendicitis deep in the

The rupture was 2 meters in diameter. It was easy to find - with all the stuff from the broken pipes floating near the opening. I activated thrusters and counted to 3 - any more

It was the second last day of my life. I knew because the astrologer told me so. I then asked the astrologer if he knew that he would die that very day. when he said 'no' I killed

"We're Sargent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" the singer sang off-key. Nobody really believed the lead singer in front of them that evening was Billy Shears. Suddenly...

It was Christmas Eve. She was lying in bed next to him, excitedly talking about hot cocoa and gingerbread. He listened...and then burst into tears. "What's wrong?" she asked. He

Then Cobra Commander slammed his fist on the desk, rattling the computer bank. "If I see one more person write "Yay." on Facebook, I will melt the world's children!" He'd

He'd had a crush on her since they started opening together. He'd get there early in his pickle green VW bus. She in her "Integra." 5 am was not too early for love, at Starbucks

"One man's trash..." was the slogan of Landfill Days, my town's response to waste accumulation. Everyone came for BYOB Tuesday and stayed for the games, like Find the Needle in The

I was re-examining my RB situation (again) for the fantasy football playoffs just as the boss walked in. I Ctrl-Tab'ed to an accounting spreadsheet but he said "Hey Bob, you workin

Little Joey Parker closed his eyes and wished. Hard. He put pen to paper and wrote two words. "Maybe Santa can bring me Spam Baby THIS year" He would never stop

In the urban jungle I'd bagged the common Thesaurus, the contrary Antonymosaurus, & heard the fearful Onomatopoeiasaurus, but I'd never crossed with one of these dangerous words

Newt Gengrich laid in the dark in his Radisson hotel room. He'd asked for "non-smoking" but it reeked of Virginia Slims. He reached under his double chin and pulled out

The whole point of having my relative over is to reacquaint myself with the things I hate about her. Armed with this ammo, my cousin and I will finally have something to talk about

It was in my childhood home and I had a room to myself. Now for a week, apparently, I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming and crying.

Li was getting rich on faux rhino horns. He compressed human nail clippings. It was made of keratin too & he was saving the rhino. But he was deceiving the chinese mafia & smugglin