I don't have a face.

I jumped in line at the jumping time with my bag of twine and my nursery rhyme and I thought

In the beginning, dog created the heaven and the earth and saw that it was doog. On the seventh day, dog rested.

Five dollars and a baloney sandwich. That's all I need to

The news called it "Death from Above", the tabloids called it "we told you so!", and the fear-mongers called it "we're already dead so let's go crazy and kill each other."

His mission was to make sure every pond, pool, river, lagoon, lake, and run-off contained at least one rusted broken-down shopping cart.

Ah, but you see you clicked on the 'Terms of Service.' This gives us every right to do the following. Now, hold still....

I wonder what my grandmother would say. The entire house is destroyed. She never believed in bad things happening.

The idea was so "fresh" so "out of the box" that the power point presentation exploded. A couple suits threw up. "You mean, just put less chips in the bag?" The CFO nodded

Manuel driving his marine Oldsmobile down the bridge was just trying to get home in Queens when his old friend just gave up on him...He never thought that day would come!

Periwinkle;Perry was never an angry girl.But she was angry now!Someone sent her flowers.A huge bouquet of periwinkles left at her door and inside,a black scorpion and a card:"Next

Amazingly, my weekend wasn't as terrible as I had predicted on friday. I thought I was going to spend another weekend alone and loathing in self pity, but it turned out that

This is a story about a simple man. A man with no real ambitions. No drives. Nothing notable about him. Just an average Joe who found himself in the most extraordinary of

I was so jealous of Tony. He had a CB radio, an RC Trans-Am, a Color TRS-80, and a portable TV which could receive UHF 'and' FM stations. All I had was pong.

Two guys car breaks down. They stay at farm to wait for parts. The farmer's daughter, Lurlene seduces 'em. The farmer catches them. He sends 'em out to harvest at gunpoint. The 1st

"In the meadow we could build a snowman," Keith sang with a twinkle in his eye, "And pretend that he is parched and brown." Jill just stared at him.

He waved the gun around the room, pointing the gun at no one in particular. 'Vote me past MoralEnd or so help me God I'll write REAL literature." Nancy Pelosi and the rest of the

"I deeply deeply respect you, Marsha." All was well until my alien eye syndrome caused my left eye to wander, spiraling like a moth towards what inflamed me, her ample décolleté.

Her dress fell to the floor and I stood there for a moment admiring its beauty. Silk folds with lace trim. It evoked Valentino at his prime. "Ahem!" she coughed at her nakedness

It started like any other day, up at 5:00am, 20 minute work out and breakfast. As I finished my coffee everything changed. How did she get in I asked myself, steeling myself for