In retrospect, the idea of glass toilet paper, while appealing in some respects, perhaps was not of his more thought-out inventions, nor had the sandpaper variety caught on as much

hello. there. was. a boy. and he. was. really. cool. he did not. have a lot. of friends. he was there. to go out. but he didnt like anyone. whatever. so weird.

The USC scout stalked the talent show. He'd heard rumors of a girl who was "born to hula", and he wasn't one to pass up a chance at a prodigy. Just last year, a hopscotch prodigy

Hrengor the Beholder floated above his meditation mat, his tentacles in some vague mudra, the Cosmic Light blossoming within. His wife, Betty Bounteous, had mixed feelings about

He thrashed against the restraints. "This is it: it is happening now!!" he uttered despite the antilogosticals in his courtesy saline drip. "This is the story to end all fiction!!"

Pork & beans are funnier than baked beans because they have pork in them. Pork is funny. Pork buns are funny. Bok choy isn't messy enough. Finger sandwiches, eh. Pies - very funny.

In the mood for a delicious snack? Me too! First let's slaughter a healthy animal. Then we'll butcher us up a coupla choice cuts of carcass. Let's rub a nice savory blend of herbs

One early morning Sally woke up to go to work, but her car wouldn't start because the motor blew. What was Sally to do? She decided to go car shopping what do you think she bought?

My cactus flower ice cube is made with dew collected from Atacama flowers. I recommend enjoying it with Pisco puro & this one's the wreck of the Titanic made from actual seawater

What do you call a person who is charming and cold?

It felt liberating, having just lost all of your savings. Marc walked away from the poker-table without looking back. Bystanders were mocking him. Most of them were. He didn't

When I woke up, it was dark. I still had a few matches left, so I lit one. At once, a thousand other matches lit all around me, and I realized I was still in the House of Mirrors

I woke up this morning, not knowing that I would begin here. This is a strange, new world to me and I am lost. Where do I go from here? Can anyone help me

I'm telling you Bob, the guy's not normal. I've been a chiropractor for 30 years. Jack's pushing 40 but his bones have evidence of growth spurts. He comes to me once a month

Ginger Ale makes me burp! *URP!*

Don't forget: What hieroglyph am I today? Don't forget. What hieroglyph am I today? Who gives a duck? Wrong season, wrong reason. And the others I already forgot. All of them la

In the corpse laden dawn mist, yesterday's battlefield becomes today's tragedy. The officers of the Royal Household Cavalry that were dressed in their fine uniform are now

Humans distinguish themselves through tool use. No primates, elephants, parrots & octopi do too. Okay, but humans use sounds to represent objects. No, chimps can do that.

The Large welch died when his beady eyes peered into the

We Are One you and I, we are like the earth and sky, one family under