The Prophet Efyualtuel stood in the desert of his times, and was silent. Desert wind blew, haters hated, chatters chatted, and the plastic did abide. But in that silence came to hi

"F*CKINSH*T-EATINGA-HOLE! WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING?!" my inner self screamed as I calmly wiped my hands on the linen napkin. "Anyone want dessert?" I asked politely, then turned

After a long day at work, Mike

I have eight to spare and am covered with hair. What am I?

There was no way I was going to that cemetery today, not if you paid me a million bucks.

I was waiting for the Minute Clinic for 4 hours. It was no big deal, I'm sure the spider was not that poisonous. It gave me time to shop for dinner. Should my hand be this swollen?

Months of practice, Joe was able to talk subliminally. "HI TED! /give/HERE/me/ IS/the/THAT/day/REPORT /off/YOU /now/WANTED!" His boss stopped "Hey take the rest of the day off."

"Create,add,read.Only 3 leafs of weed.I bind my spell to work.On the pot I place the lid."Saying these words,Angela sealed an incantation that would (or so she believed) bring her

It was a beautiful night the wind swayed through Amy's hair but then her little little brother James started to hit the wind. and suddenly

Have you seen that new guy in Accounting? The one that looks like a real jerkoff? I mean, he looks like the kind of guy that'd

Some would say she was a cat hoarder. A little crazy, but innocently overrun with cats. But I knew better. Actually she was evil, conniving with the cats to

When my father got angry, he'd swear "Jesus H. Christ on a bicycle". This was quite confusing. Harry? Herbert? Now, in the crypt of the Templars, the fresco clearly showed

2 plates, 4 plates, 5 plates, 6. "Hey Jim! Betcha can't add another!" Jim loaded another plate on each side of the bar. All the patrons of Big Jim's Iron City gaped. "GRRRRAAAAHH!"

Apple won a partial victory today in it's patent lawsuit against Anne Hathaway and her Catwoman costume. "We are pleased that the judge agreed with us," said an Apple spokeswoman.

"Now, what color?" The cat nodded to the left, meaning red. He flipped the card over, Queen of hearts. She got it right 99% of the time, but how to smuggle her to a roulette table?

Flip flop. Flip flop. Flop flop flop flop.

"Don't give me that innocent look.You're grounded young lady! And no more World of Warcraft this week", Mr. Henderson scolded his one yr old. Cindy had soiled her diapers again.

Following the Popular Electronics article Ron pimped up the photon density on his laser pointer. Unbeknownst to Ron, his "Laser Pointer of the Gods" blinded Xorg's third eye

"I am only sure of one thing, Mr. Black." Said Dr. Red rubbing his chin. "And what is that?" Replied Black. The Doc then answered,"This Ship shall sink."

Helga was going to go for the Starvation Diet, but decided Hunger Strike made more sense for her. First, Helga weighed herself. Shockingly,