This is a dangerous country. It's known for killing the elderly on a large scale to reduce health-care cost. Old people wear bracelets with the text 'Don't kill me please', hoping

She shoplifted all the time. It was her "thing." She didn't feel guilty either because she knew that retail was just a hot bed of lies. It was her experience at the GAP that

I use this device to beat back the workers. It's cruel but a necessary component of

I had my finger on The Button. All I could think of was my mother saying "Oh relax, it's not the end of the world." But this time, with the wrong choice, it would be. I pressed

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii don wanna work, I jus wanna bang on this drum all daaayyyyy

My ship was received by the Reinforcement Blossoms. When I opened the hatch I could smell the fragrance streams passing digital information through solar petals.

Shawna cackled. "You're right Mable, that Betty Lou is dumber than a door knob, bless her heart." Mable lit up. "Why, she looks busier'n a cat covering crap on a marble floor."

"I dunno, Angel Bunny Harvey, it looks like Mr. Thorwald is burying something in his garden," Fluttershy whispered. Angel worried how this would affect his damn salad. Flutters

Once upon a time there was a story which wasn't folded...

The Ocelot went hunting.

Captain Lunchbox slipped into the boy's bathroom. Quickly, he removed his junior high dress code-approved button-up and donned his beach towel cape. His OCD was acting up, and he

Let me tell you about dogs. They can lick and eat anything! They are truly free. They can eat poop. I said it, and I don't care. That's so far advanced. Think about how energy effi

We flushed the remnants of the alien spacecraft down the toilette.

It was sad, it was just too tough, too bad. For how in these modern days, men have lost the gumption to dread the death and misery of their fellow men. And each passing year they

Suzy stood up in front of the whole class, adjusted her skirt slightly, and began. "cacandi - the genitive of the gerund of the verb caco, cacare, cacavi, cacatus, meaning "to take

Hoover was able to make a scale model of the Kremlin out of used

After untold centuries, Taco Bell finally ran out of creative ways to repackage dog food, bad queso and nachos and began to branch out into French cuisine. Le Damn Bell Sans Merci

Something was different, I found myself in a diffrent timeline. A way cooler one too. John Lennon had survived the shooting, Christopher Walken was the President, and my girlfriend

"Oops, I spilled some peanut butter and BBQ sauce on my ankle," said the mailman. "No bother, though. This surely is not a contrived situation that will come back to "bite" me."

The Nose Troll attaches itself to noses by using its mouth as suction. The Nose Troll is a harmless creature that