I wanted to make a warm and fuzzy crayola drawing of two puppies playing tug 'o war with a tube sock. Then the owner smiling. The caption reads, "Fuck the police." If I gave

He asked her to do it. His tone was conciliatory. His face sympathetic. But his request for this particular kind of human perversion was very far past any normal favor. He

He drove his jeep into the hotel. 50 pounds of explosives taped to his chest. He pressed the detonate button and nothing happened. He pressed it again. Nothing.

The clown smirked. Evilness oozed from the sewer. "Come down an play." But the hellish clown did not know he was beckoning a special child. His name was Harry Potter and he came

Maxwell, was a new student at his school. He was expecting to be lonely as all new students on the first day of school would expect, but when he went into the school, he met Amanda

Woke up to the sound of REM's Everybody Hurts. And when that happens, you'll find that your day will be automatically shit. So why bother getting out of bed. I felt like gouging my

Hello? Hellloooo? Something wasn't right. There was nothing obviously wrong and I don't believe in heeby jeeby spider sense but something inside me was pulsing *danger*. I stepped

Dr. Chillbot thought about brushing his teeth. The thought exhausted him. Instead he swished beer around in his mouth. Would he go into work today?

The baked bean murders remained unsolved for more than 30 years.

"It's only blueberries!" I shouted after Emerald as she marched away. "Just some stupid blueberries, for God's sake". But to Emerald, it wasn't that simple.

The Easter Bunny placed the basked on the door knob of Kimmy's room and walked into the hall. Mom's bedroom door was open. And Easter saw her, his old prom date with her

Biden lit up. He puffed like a pro. He passed the joint to Michelle. She wondered if she should take it. Then Biden produced a package of Mothers Frosted Circus Animal cookies. Mic

He'd opened the netflix envelop in excitement. After four weeks of staring that movie sleeve, he mailed it back without even watching the movie because

On the night of december13th,1992 Kyle was seen driving his old Chevy thru a side road leading nowhere just never to be seen again.Until last week when he knocked on Drew's door at

The swelling wouldn't stop. At this rate, his head would be twice its normal size in minutes. Doug felt his tounge, surprisingly normal considering he had eaten

Most guys weren't like him. For example, he put his pants on both legs at a time. I tried that once and got a bloody nose for it. He'd walk

Hace mucho tiempo estaba un cazador cazando en el campo. De pronto aparece su amigo Tedoro cuando de repente ve pasar a un lobo por detras de ellos.

YOU, SHALL NOT PASS!! cried Gandalf, as the postman entered through his front gate. "Hi there Gandy, you got a parcel from a Mr.... Treebeard?" Gandalf swung his staff and the

I always was good at games. They were fun, but above all, they had goals which could be seen at a press of a button. Unlike so-called "life", which, apparently,

He slowly took off his wig and then even more slowly, his false eyelashes. Gosh it hurt so he tried yanking it off and then he started screaming cos his original eyelashes came off