Dressing in the old lady's clothes was something he never thought he would do. But Just the thought of his blood soaked uniform made him think that the dress fitted him quite well.

"Ain't never told this story before," Bobert whispered from his rocking chair. "You'll see why. Years ago, my wife Greta told me a secret 'fore she left me. She said, Bob, I'm

Never mind WhatsAppitis, Nintendonitis and Blackberry Thumb, what about Folditis? Our company is losing 100s of work days to this scourge. We need to do something about it!

Somewhere the fire was burning, but my friend and I couldn't tell where it was coming from. We were driving to Seattle to visit another friend of mine. As we

If I found a dog

I heard footsteps coming nearer and louder. The place was dark. Sweats rolling down my face. " Who's there?!" I shouted. Suddenly, a gun pointed at my face...i was shocked and turn

I'm a panda waiting to be rescued from the Antarctic. Why am I here.

I didn't like driving at night but since it was an emergency I took the car keys and headed towards the shiny new BMW. I opened the door - and stepped into blinding sunshine.

The steak lay quietly in its styrofoam tray, tightly wrapped in plastic, tormented by nightmares. It could neither scream nor thrash nor even shudder at its horrific dreams. No one

The red Skittle army was slowly but steadily advancing on the weakened green forces. But what's this?! A yellow ambush! I ate four reds and a yellow. Mmmmm. The reds retreated back

"Sophie, How could you?" screamed Milz. "How could you die on me my love???????"

I quit my day job and opened up a restaurant where we served whole steamed crabs, artichokes, sunflower seeds, and pomegranates. It was all you can eat (30 minute time limit). My

The people at the Even Larger Collider felt sorry for the most pitiful black hole, and so they tried to make a smaller one. For what is life but desire, consumption and comparison,

Twarn't long afore the drone of the engines inspired Kelly to sing to his lonesome: "I am a poor starfaring stranger, traveling through this vasty space" Kelly looked at the stasis

"Bloodsport, the animated series" was tucked under Spielberg's arm

Sunday morning I was up with the lark, at least I thought it was but it turned out to be an evil-looking crow that was half black and half white. I felt a sudden chill. I had never

The Hipster businessman founded a Holy Smokes Spirit Association to really cash in on all the

He wanted to "Mercedes" his mother. So he designed a car that had her curves and personality, but she was a cantankerous squash-shaped octogenarian. The "Gertrude" sold poorly but

Then she farted.

Captain Haberdash sailed the seven seas (well, technically, he only sailed six of them, but he just told people about the seventh, and he knew a guy who had seen it so really he