I kick ass. It's unbelievable how much ass I kick. Should be illegal; probably is. Don't care. Too busy kick'n ass. All day; all night. Asleep, you'd be like "Damn, that guy kicks

Aloysius, demigod spawn of a tryst between Vulcan, god of smiths and fire, and Julia Child, conceived on Julia's expedition to Aetna's peak to cook sea creatures in lava, sat in

Amanda Widdershins looked around at her new apartment: modern, reasonably well made, good view of the city lights, but sterile somehow compared to the farmhouse she had sold. She

I took a GAIT survey and discovered I'm a troll. My trollologist says the first step is admitting I'm a troll. I'm thinking of joining a troll self help group just to

Old McDonald had a farm, eieio & on that farm he had a ferret eieio, with a dook dook here & a dook dook there, here a dook, there a dook, everywhere a dook dook. Old McDonald had

He walks in the shadows. All he knows is what he sees; the repeat of the same pattern all around. Tall, concrete buildings, no green. Only on the next turn did he realize

I have never begun a story with more misgiving. All of this happened, more or less. It began the winter of 1966. I began what I thought was a great adventure. It's almost as if

Meredith Klein's highest note could crack much more than glass. But despite the prophecies and the prompting from all dimensions, she hated her role and decided she would not sing

Bob, a contestant on " Who wants to be a Millionaire", was on the last question. "What is the first letter of the alphabet?. Is it A) D , B) C, C) A or D) B." " To this Bob answer

I walked into the bar. Fud Leclerc's 'Drowned Men of the River Seine' was playing on the juke box and the lighting was low. He was waiting for me by the pool table holding 2 cues &

It's been a week now since my wife left for her mothers. I slept Surprisingly well for the first few nights of her absence, it felt great to come home to a quiet house.

The movie was rated PG-45. He was refused entry. Why would adults need parental guidance? Was there a secret kept from adults like sex is from kids? His mom agreed to go with him.

The air was chill. Silence filled the empty night.

Josh from work was forced by necessity to buy a pint at The Famous Cock in Highbury last Tuesday. He told me this in an email even though he was sitting at the desk abutting mine

He came over, gave her a full body massage and stretch, then brought her to full release. He brought her a sandwich and beer, took a shower, and left. She drank the beer, but took

His life's mission was to secretly spread feces. He'd once wiped his ass on a fruit cake. It cut his ass up something fierce, but who could see ass juice and blood on a fruit cake?

This is a test of the emergencey broadcast system. If this had been an actual emergency,

The Tuesday that the Anything boxes arrived for everyone was the day that civilization, as we know it, ended. By Thursday,

I know a girl whos obsessed with a guy , she talks gor hours and still tomorrow she calls again , and when he thinks this could be the end .. she calls again at 6 in the morning ,

Oh my goodness, Megadeth - best band ever. They are