I am a wretched man, a deplorable man, a humorous man, a regrettable man. My brain is alive and has a disease. It goes out at night and I follow, in the shadows. The others I avoid

"Time to carve you up!" Hans & Frans pull started their chain saws & attacked ice blocks. The ice disco had to be finished in 2 hrs. Hans worked the bar while Frans cut a discoball

Litze emerged sobbing from the cafe's bathroom. She was just off the bus from Estonia and hadn't seen a flushing toilet in 2 years. Budapest was paradise

Once there was a young girl named Lilly. She was ten, had a great imagination, a big heart, and warm hands. She didn't have any siblings, and her parents were always away for work.

Thanks to an initiative to prevent any misunderstanding from happening ever, a speed reading limit of 250 words per minute was enacted. Drunk reading was now very illegal, as was

I am not angry. I wish I was, but I'm too old to feel anything but numb. "You know he did try and find you after the march, but Souci you had eyes for everyone but the star"

Etta's first husband died after falling into the birthing pool and getting the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck.

Canuck Lovers and Canadian Mounties swear by our patented moose musk recipe pills. Never go on a camping trip without a supply! Don't be gunshy! Order now and we'll add this

Because of my shoes. I'm wearing today. One is called love. The other is pain.

One day I got bored and decided to make a golem. Finding the clay was easy enough, and I had the free time, so, before I knew it, I was standing before a 6' clay simulacrum of

Ever since Jen had purchased the dancewriter™, her writer's block and extra pounds were a thing of the past. Today she'd tap danced an essay on Exercise Software for New Yorker

"what is your mother doing?" Steve asked. Georgina laughed, "She is picking at a nut stuck in her tooth." "And you chose that moment to take a picture and then put it on your iphon

It's funny how language can lead to dreams, joy and delight, or bickering, vile bile, and the toxic ectoplasm gushing out of internet sewers into the comments under news articles.

K.C. and the Sunshine Band showed up at my door today. What was I to do? I invited them in, puzzled, but pretending not to be. They seemed to be expecting me to

I think I might be a porcupine because a porcupine would feel just like I do right now.

Sanic da hedghod and Tail the Echidna were walking through Gren hell zome, when all of a sudden Eggpan came and hit us with a boopy hammer. Then Jon was all like "DA BOOPINIST" and

My next novel is: '49 shades of beige'. Mensaque can write the rude bits. I'll write the descriptions of... trees & stuff, maybe the odd joke. Do they have jokes in erotic fiction?

If I stand on tiptoe I think I might be able to reach it. I'm worried about what might happen after, if course. Once I've pulled it out, will I be able to put it back again?

John R took the call from John T. "Get down to intensive care NOW. Phoebe's not going make it & she's asking for you." John R vowed revenge on John Q for shooting the only woman he

Lady Midday visited me today. I was walking along the lane in the hot sun when she joined me. She's young & pretty and I laughed in spite of my headache. I can't stop thinking abo