"Don't leave me in Hell without you," whispered Hades to Persephone. "I want to see the sun," she said. The torches of blue gentians flared blue in the darkness.

Daddy, dere's a monster under my bed." "How many times have I told you there's no such..." "But he's dere Daddy, look!" "Alright...That's no monster its an Aligator, G'nite son."

It was a good day for Sarah JP Dark when she found the stash of estrogen. She took one of the syringes and pushed it in her thigh. She could almost feel them growing in her

Have your heard of Mr. Tomato? He's a shiny samba loving fruity fellow. He was initially green with envy at Mr. Potato Heads greater fame, but he's ripened with age and has his own

I thought our love would last forever...Instead I got what felt like the reality check of the century

Valery Nesvizhevsky & Sue Hendrickson met in a bar in Tokyo while attending a Templeton Foundation colloquium on time travel. "How about a quantum portal to the Jurrasic?" Val jest

"Don't tell me to shut the fuck up, you filthy dirty hippie! I'm goddamn Bill O'Reilly, so piss off and go get trippy!" Well, how was I supposed to react to such abuse? I had to

The man in the hat spit on the ground contemptuously. "He's telling the truth," he growled, resigned. "He doesn't know anything else about the warehouse. You know what to do."

"The trick is not minding that it hurts."

Although I was 15, I lied on the age verification and said I was born in 1901. The monitor flashed in a brilliant light and I appeared in the trenches of Verdun.

Janice realized Matt liked somebody else when he returned to school with the same cold as Allie, whom he went to the dance with. Apparently he preferred Allie's snot over her own.

FASHION POLICE COMIX No.1 "Never Wear Black Without the Blue." We're the Fashion Police. This is our job. These are our true stories. Tonight, Justice is going to be FABULOUS.

"I'm afraid there's no room on your ship for the nature dome or yoga studio modules, Cap'n." The last of the crew's morale went up in smoke with that bombshell. Cap'n Ramírez vowed

It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

Not allowed to say "Merry Christmas" anymore at the office. "Happy Holidays" is also banned, as are the terms "Hannukah" and "Winter Solstice." In fact, we weren't even allowed to

I got a pocket o' beans, a pocket o' beans, a pocket o' beans and a snuffy snuff snuff...

"No, for real! I swear hush puppies are made out of REAL puppies." Wow. My butcher had never steered me wrong in the past, so I had to believe him. Still, made me wonder if

"what is your mother doing?" Steve asked. Georgina laughed, "She is picking at a nut stuck in her tooth." "And you chose that moment to take a picture and then put it on your iphon

I hated my football coaches. All of them. They were losers. Well, we lost every game, but they took no ownership in the losses. Every single one of them blamed us.

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