The stroke had destroyed Sherlock Holmes's short and long term memory. His analysis was impeccable but he could never remember it. In fact he couldn't remember when

Looking out the window, Kitten thinks nothing but murder all day.

A flash of light shattered the sky followed a moment later by a massive boulder rolling slowly down a distant mountain.

Scrub till you bleed, wipe those tears, and fill guns with grapes. You've been repossessed, the therapist is in Mali, but your mother listens to Peter Schiff. She has Alzheimer's.

"I said I'd 'see you real soon,' Walt, & well, here I am," said Annette,cheerfully kicking up sand on heaven's beach. She looked around. "Where's everyone else?" Walt Disney smiled

I am Shutruk Nahunte, King of Anshand and Susa, Sovereign of the land of Elam. I destroyed Sippar, took the stele of Naram-Sin, & brought it back to Elam, where I erected it as an

I put my girlfriend's kid on the teeter-totter and waived. Then I hit the remote control in my pocket which dropped a 10 ton sack on the teeter totter flinging the kid hundreds of

Maybe next time the arsonist could torch the Ed Hardy store.

The patient has an impossible body type and is far too thin for her height The Patient has been admitted after having compulsions to respond to partying requests with "aww aww yea"

The old lady stared at the flames blazing in the hearth. The Prophecy would be fulfilled. Now it was only a matter of days. She had waited for this moment, had longed for it

Ralph was going through menopause. His doctor confirmed it and Ralph was terribly dismayed. "Now turn your head and cough," his doctor ordered, twisting Ralph's

I zapped and came across an episode of CSI. ??????? CSI? They only have this show on Wednesdays. My heart missed a beat. It must be a mistake, I told myself. it's Tuesday, it has

"Om... elet." And with that, Buddha officially sold out. "Enlightenment has showed me the Way... to Denny's." The commercial aired during an episode of

I remember when I tripped over my dog and broke my nose on my bedside table and stabbed my eye. Do you remember when

This was it. She finally invited me to her place. Oh she definitely piqued my curiosity. When she excused herself to slip into something more comfortable, I perused her bookshelf.

Tonight Octopus.

The Reader's Digest story caught my eye: 99 Household Uses for Preparation-H. Number one:

Jean's choir robe had snagged on the corner of the pew, causing her to stumble between amens. "Jesus Christ!" She'd said it out loud, then noted Father Fister's disapproval.

Pete had been turned into a sparrow by an evil witch at the center of the Gargoyle Maze. That was 10 years ago. He's still a sparrow. He dive bombs kids on the way to school

Chapter 53. Dear Reader, I assure you that we have nearly reached the beginning of my story - which is to say, the night of my birth - but that cannot be properly understood unless