I'm in a couch. No lie.

The limerick is furtive and mean, You must keep her in close quarantine, Or she sneaks to the slums, And promptly becomes, Disorderly, drunk and obscene.

Beware of a petulant man with a vuvuzela

I had everything, a good life in fact. I was the most popular kid in high school, I had a caption of the cheer leading team, and I had a car. But then, I lost it all

I have eaten the plums that were in the icebox and which you were probably saving for breakfast. Forgive me they were delicious so sweet and so cold

So, it's time again. The moon's satellite station, sending down yet another carbon rod to the surface. Rising up above the horizon a distant flare of light shone as bright as

Bone diddly. Bone diddly boo bop. Bone diddly boo bop a sham bam boo.

The last week of classes were quickly approaching. The stress is building up! There was so much to do in such little time. That is the least of my worries...FINALS are coming!

I have no strength to keep my eyelids open and no willpower to stop it happening all over again. The dragonflies are here again and they're no longer blue.

Nia had something of a raw talent for waxing, though she lacked her sisters' polish. When the twilight of hirsutism threatened the family business, Nia quickly uprooted it with hot

Fiddle faddle fuddle mud pie. If a puddle can muddle then why can't I?

"I'm so 'the life of the party' that my own cats think I'm inanimate." I started this dating profile as a joke; now it was just sad. I needed someone with a compatible joke profile

The dinner was simply exquisite - dormouse poppers with fish sauce, followed by the main course - sparrow-tongue stuffed sow uterus swimming in aspic; for desert, jellied eel and

From the opposite side of the estuary, they observed the smoking remains of Hartlepool. He heard Sylvia sniff wetly beside him. 'Damned sentiment', he thought to himself, 'too late

In celebration of the birth of the newest member of the royal family, I decided to send William & Kate a baby gift! I settled on something I thought no one else would think of...a

Leonard live a lemon lie. He dressed in a lemon suit, wore lemon loafers, ate lemon pie and drank lemon beer. Slept in a lemon bed, with lemon girls. He even pissed lemonade, BUT

I just tried to type Wanda & it's been ipad autocorrected to Wandanventham. Is Apple trying to mess with my head?

My coworkers dont like me playing the nannerpus commercial on youtube. I dont see the issue, I mean, it's NANNERPUS! It's a dancing banana on a bunch of pancakes, whats not 2 love?

"I see your point and raise you a counterpoint: you are a massive doo-doo head." Debate Club had gone to the dogs. I quietly padded my résumé in the corner, sipping a soda.

They say we miss 100% of the shots we don't take, but thanks to vacuous truth, we also make 100% of such shots. I pondered this on the bench, warm as always, taking pudding shots