I had everything, a good life in fact. I

I had everything, a good life in fact. I was the most popular kid in high school, I had a caption of the cheer leading team, and I had a car. But then, I lost it all

when I received my acceptance letter from Harvard. I was so happy, I started doing my usual celebratory twerking... but this time, I knocked the fridge over. It hit the chandelier,

with a huge ball of mash potatoes and gravy. Then I laid on my back with my mouth open and let the goop plop into my mouth over the next 12 hours. I was going to Harvard so it

would be the last of common fare I'd ever eat! It was pate de foie gras and caviar from now on. I ordered my carriage and pair and, donning a velvet cape I ordered: "To Harvard!

" But my driver misheard me & thought I said "To Hartford!" Next thing I knew, I was dumped off on the seedy side of Hartford, CT. I shivered & pulled my velvet cape around me as

I realised the air temperature was just 2F. Where did I lose the magic gloves? They were irreplaceable. The Ace hardware truck saw me and drove me to the store, where I found them!

Well, the gloves were marked "AS IS" and were in a clearance bin, but I bought them and put them on and suddenly I could see straight through the atmosphere and into the stars.

I though at first maybe there was something wrong with me, and maybe there still is, but seeing the galaxies in these $3 gloves was surprisingly blissful and aromatic. The next

$3 I get is going back into another pair of these magical gloves. I can't remember a time I felt this kind of freedom. Whatever is wrong with me can wait. I've got a new goal now.

Yes. A new goal, a new life. A fresh start. I shook myself. I was exaggerating. It wasn't like I was going to France and change my name. But things would be different from now on.