Perry White settled in at his desk at the Daily Planet and poured himself a stiff bourbon -- three fingers, no ice. He thought about how he had pimped out Lois to get the story of

I got a lot done today! Finished my butt gluing fixture. Moved the porch light (I was tired of the moths getting in the house every time I opened the door at night) the TODO list

Roberta had always considered budget airlines to be safe, but as they plummeted towards the mountain, she yelled out

Schools out! Damn what will I do with the kids now? I can't afford to get a baby sitter. Maybe the Peace Corpse will take them for a while or the Army they'll take anyone. Iraq is

As the Dirk ran his fingers through over his gun he couldn't help but remember what that funeral director had said to him the other day. "Don't forget to wash your hands, and for

THE ISLAND

A man is whatever room he's in.

Putin was proud of the man cave he had put together in the bunker below the Kremlin. Foreign dignitaries would always ask to hang out and play

In the shadow of a crumbling mansion, an old woman whispered her secret to a man clad in a cloak of silver feathers. His face expressed utter

They pitched camp in the midst of the pumpkins. The eastern sky grew dark, and the stars jangled up into their places. Beyond the horizon, a solitary pony approached. On her

"I smell smoke," she yelped, alert eyes slashing across the expansive vista. Not a cloud stained the blueness. I glanced down at her long, yellowed fingers. "Yours?" I pointed at

once upon a time there was an evil wizard who forced kids to create acounts on foldingstory websites, and...

Philip the fanatic decided to take a stroll down Hilltop Blvd. He was looking for a good, steep hill to preform the ultimate bike stunt. After 15 min of searching, he found a great

soooooooooooooooooooooo watcha wanna twalk about

Today is the first day of school. I'm finally a senior in high school! This year is going to be different than other years. I am finally going to

True story: I was stopped at a light, really going for the gold. I had this crusty booger entrenched deep in the nasal fortress and when I plunged extra deep I scooped out

I am a simple girl, I have but one fantasy. When my mother opens her mouth, I wish I could just shout "BORING!" Just cut her off in mid-sentence when she's telling me about

Edna St.Vincent Millay was quoted today: Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind; Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve..

Once there was a velociraptor with a rainbow mustache and a fedora. He was walking through the forest, and was suddenly attacked by

"The future of advertising is within!" announced Senator Wayward Conquest as he strutted during his TED talk. "We can make everyone sleek, healthy, long-lived consumers with our ge