Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover Vanilla Ice.

"I triple foo dog dare you!" Tony whispered giving me a fierce look. He had removed the indian fetish from his pocket and dangled the foo dog before me sinisterly. I knew the curse

The green-bellied, purple-elsewhere dinosaur evaluated his paunch in the floor-length mirror. Pacing, he debated on skipping the show's 10yr reunion. What would Baby Bop think?

The mayor cut the ribbon. "I hereby declare.. this building... the largest strip mall... in North America!"

It was Christmas Eve. She was lying in bed next to him, excitedly talking about hot cocoa and gingerbread. He listened...and then burst into tears. "What's wrong?" she asked. He

Then Cobra Commander slammed his fist on the desk, rattling the computer bank. "If I see one more person write "Yay." on Facebook, I will melt the world's children!" He'd

He'd had a crush on her since they started opening together. He'd get there early in his pickle green VW bus. She in her "Integra." 5 am was not too early for love, at Starbucks

"One man's trash..." was the slogan of Landfill Days, my town's response to waste accumulation. Everyone came for BYOB Tuesday and stayed for the games, like Find the Needle in The

I was re-examining my RB situation (again) for the fantasy football playoffs just as the boss walked in. I Ctrl-Tab'ed to an accounting spreadsheet but he said "Hey Bob, you workin

Little Joey Parker closed his eyes and wished. Hard. He put pen to paper and wrote two words. "Maybe Santa can bring me Spam Baby THIS year" He would never stop

In the urban jungle I'd bagged the common Thesaurus, the contrary Antonymosaurus, & heard the fearful Onomatopoeiasaurus, but I'd never crossed with one of these dangerous words

Newt Gengrich laid in the dark in his Radisson hotel room. He'd asked for "non-smoking" but it reeked of Virginia Slims. He reached under his double chin and pulled out

The whole point of having my relative over is to reacquaint myself with the things I hate about her. Armed with this ammo, my cousin and I will finally have something to talk about

It was in my childhood home and I had a room to myself. Now for a week, apparently, I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming and crying.

Li was getting rich on faux rhino horns. He compressed human nail clippings. It was made of keratin too & he was saving the rhino. But he was deceiving the chinese mafia & smugglin

Vanessa Conquest spat discreetly into her napkin. "Of course I am a carnivore, but not evolved or devolved enough for this, Solange. Maybe a spiritual centrist. Human fetal sushi

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. Please take your seats and securely fasten your seatbelts immediately. It's critical to remain calm. We're about to

The scientist locked the Gamma Ray's target on the fish. This was the last phase of his research. He pulled the trigger just as his Cat jumped on the fish. The Gamma Ray fused

Der Zaubergarten des Königs Im Orient lag etwas Besonderes.

"Lord bless me sir!" said the three-eyed alien as it hover-walked up to Uncle Jesse. Uncle Jesse's eyes narrowed. "Cletus. Cletus Raybern, is that you?" The Alien extended his