John Bronner soaked the antique newspaper with brandy and struck a match. "The Daily Gazette used to tell us stuff. It didn't tell us what to see." He let it go. He let it all go.

Attention neighbors, the police have been notified of your toddlers parading unattended down the sidewalk in their motorized cars. Our homeowners association will not tolerate

An inside-out Uncle was not a pleasant sight to behold, he thought, as he beheld the steaming viscera beneath the monacle and toupée that was all that was left of Baron Furvile. If

When Angela traveled all the way to Ukraine for her knee operation, she had no idea that both her patellas would be replaced by equal sized spheres of critically enriched uranium.

I wish I was sitting in my loungeroom playing boggle with my family. That used to be so much better than sitting in prison.

'Are you a punctuation mark?' 'Yes.' 'Are you a subatomic particle?' 'Yes.' 'Are you an amusement park ride?' 'Yes.' 'Are you an interplanetary magnetic field?' 'Yes.'

Rose called her Twilight fanfiction '30 shades of Brown' & sat back waiting for the cash to roll in. In summary, Gordon Brown ex-GB Prime Minister & part time vampire lives in Seat

We had zombies before zombies were cool.

Some of us

Here I was standing on the corner. It was wet and still raining.

I was so tired. I hate crying. I wasn't upset but when other people cry it makes me cry. I felt like

What is that over there? No. Seriously. That thing is seriously creeping me out. It's like a box. NO WAIT. OH CRAP. IT'S COMING THIS WAY. SOMEONE STOP IT. AHHHHHHH!!

It all happened so fast! I remember waking up from the couch in my darkened living room, the light in the hallway on. Standing in the doorway was the massive silhouette of

I like the smell of burnt toast in the morning.

Here's a new twist for Apple Brown Betty: Take 5 good-sized Granny Smith apples, peel, then slice. Let them soak in lemon juice and brown sugar while you grind up a little

Fold me once, shame on you. Fold me twice,

The coffee bag was vacuumed-sealed in an impenetrable brick. The seams couldn't be pulled apart, scissors bent, it broke knife blades and using a hammer only cracked the counter

My bloody head dangled upside down mere inches from the boiling cauldron as I fought against my bindings. "I'll ask you ONE MORE TIME!" screeched Hagatha. "WHAT OF THE TOAD?!!!!"

Lookin' at cleavage is like lookin' at the sun. You don't stare at it! It's too risky! You get a sense of it and then you look away, or you wear some dark glasses. Your blind

This is fold 1,300 for me. I've got a question. When will I run out of stuff to fold about? Is there any more to write about Alien Invasions &, I dunno, Life? That's 2 questions...