Here I was standing on the corner. It was

Here I was standing on the corner. It was wet and still raining.

I looked up and could see the drops falling through the light of the street lamp. I was about to walk away when I heard a scream from the alley. I turned around and saw

a homeless man screaming. Normally, in this town, that wouldn't be worth mentioning, but see, he had a hole in his stomach the size of a watermelon and his large intestine was

dangling, dragging behind him in the dust. He kept tripping over it. Alley cats thought it was a game & pounced on it. The homeless man gave his intestine a yank, then propped up

the pinkish duodenum on the Rudolf topping a tiny Christmas tree he kept in his shopping cart & wrapped the jejunum around the lower boughs.It was festive & people gave generously

and went out of their way to make sure other people saw how generous they were. Usually by pointing out how humble they were while doing so as well. I raked it in. I couldn't wait

to twist-tie the bag and leave it by the curb before running over it with my car in a fit of pique. A less apt person would have just driven it to the landfill, but I was so angry

I just flipped out & went bananas. Anger always seems to be the tipping point for me. Like the time I beat a Big Mac with a hammer because it was supposed to be a quarter pounder.

I pounded it until it was the size of a quarter. Then I threw the hammer through the window, which surprisingly was not accepted as a payment method at the drive-thru.

Well, maybe it was, but the attendant was knocked unconscious, so their thoughts on the matter weren't readily available. I decided to drive off and try a different restaurant.