Vlastomil Ruparkhin really just wanted to hang out with friends, eat Russian Cheeseburgers, and play guitar by the river. But one night St. Sergius appeared to him in a dream and

Choking on foetid air, I traversed the entryway to the blasted tomb, within which a teeming brood of pestilent vermin had fed upon my forebears for millennia. I, P. H. Craftlove,

J Peterman was in his element. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I agreed to accompany him on his "business" trip to Bangkok. It was 10 am. I sipped the Singha foam

It was final: "Say Yes to the Dress" and "Curb Appeal" would be merged into one half-hour show, featuring a celebrity judge every week and a "sudden death" segment in which one

For some die-hards, the true heartland of thrash metal is not the Bay Area, but Germany, home of Toutonic Terrors, Kreator, Sodom, and Destruction.

Eyes wide & unblinking. Guilless. Nose sniffing. Ears peaked.Taking in the maximum senses would allow. A receptical of the oracle we call the world. But all he learned. All he knew

As a method actor, he was having a difficult time passing off as a little league shortstop with his 280 pound girth

When Max was randomly dispatched by a reckless driver, it fell to Daisy to take up the mantle of the avatar of the Dog of Death. Yes, Death had a dog, and it was a labradoodle.

I'm not sure when my sofa became sentient, though I'm certain it was after I had moved out of my ex-girlfriend's loft apartment but before I rented that hole over on 4th. Anyway,

.

"Thats just flabulous Marty. Just say no to the adipose complex! Who's ready to show their love cushions?" Everyone looked for someone else to volunteer. Big Bob sagged in his seat

"Today on Kitchen Miracles we're going to fix filet mignon in a lobster sauce, smothered in caviar and truffles, for a family of four, all for only $10! First you want to start

"I'm not scared of being alone," she said, but I know her better than that.

In a well loved old farmhouse at the edge of a field, lived a sweet old man who made his living on pension cheques and preserves he made on the farm. This man had a special tallent

She was nine. Sweet. Darling. Every pet her mother bought she killed, drained its blood and decorated her doll house with its entrails. Child Voodoo.

He was fat and Avant Guard which meant that he needed

After what seems like century sitting in the car we finally pull up to a

It's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad scientist who creates a giant robot to defend the world against the Asian Indians because he thinks they're all hippies.

I sat down in front of the suspect. He hadn't lawyered up yet, so here was my big chance to get that confession. " So Mugsy, you added a cup of flour and a teaspoon of baking soda.

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