Well fine, there was the time I got completely bombed off of watermelon tequila at the company picnic. You got me. If you want to bring up the old stuff, that's fine. But you still

"So you like those fake plastic beach ball type hooters?" "What do they call your boobs? Broken ballast tanks?" "We'll at least my manboobs are organically grown." "Puff daddy!"

Come on, people...FOLD...FOLD...FOLD... The Foldmaster cracked his bloody whip. What used to be an innocent hobby has become a torturous journey.

He was a gangly guy, a nipple-ripper alright, with an eye for the ladies and a taste for whiskey. Boasting a purple velvet vest, he zig-zagged into the room, smelling of ambergris.

Bart pushed himself away from the table. Nothin' like "All-U-Can-Eat Lamb Fries Night" at Sam's Truck Stop. Bart waved away the coconut creme pie he was offered and belched.

The professor blew up the powder-blue balloon, tied it, held it at arms length, and with one sweeping motion, popped it with a pin."Thus ends the lecture. Questions?"

My weapon of choice: the blunderbuss. Just a fool careening blindly through the pitch, blasting and bussing any damn thing in my way. That's the way to do it. I remember

As I finished paying for my Doritos and other snacks, the smiling cashier handed me a miniature schnauzer. "Its Free Puppy Day! You get one with any purchase over twenty!"

After three days of silence, the cat said: "I'm tired of your condescending tone." I was shocked! No idea such resentment could build up over a sincere "kitty kitty." The awkward m

Mrs. Crepuscule looked out upon the playground. She was an orphan with no children of her own. But when her students opened umbrellas and started screaming on a nice spring day,

In the dying days of World War II Hitler sat in his bunker eating a boiled egg. Suddenly a time traveller appeared from nowhere and pointed a gun at him "Hitler", he said "My name

What would he need to take on the Appalachian Trail? So far he had one tube of anchovy paste, a can of Manwich Bold, a box of turkey dressing, and a cheddarwurst.

Mia was waiting by Cleopatra's Needle. She looked over the wall of the Embankment into the brown water of the Thames. She thought she saw something large move beneath the water and

An eye for an eye...

There Will Come A Time, When You Will Mark This Day, As The BEGINNING. A New Path, A New Way, A New Meaning, Is Here. But You Don't Believe Me, Yet.

I want to tell you everything so that the only thing that remains between us are secrets.

The smurf movie animation was missing something. It lacked some serious kind of smurf ne sais quoi. Troubling. Disturbing.

Scooby-dooby-do,yabba-dabba-doo,and supercalifragilisticexpialidocious where the first words Jack learned.Not only the first words he spoke,no.The first words he wrote,spelled and

Bears had gods too, y'know. According to my research at Spitsbergen, Thor Bear was widely feared/worshipped amongst Norse polars. Heathen salmon were offed in the name of Thor Bear

Don't feed the dogs or you'll turn into a penguin! How was she to know that one of the least believable of her father's instructions would actually lead to this fate. Her skin