After three days of silence, the cat said:

After three days of silence, the cat said: "I'm tired of your condescending tone." I was shocked! No idea such resentment could build up over a sincere "kitty kitty." The awkward m

oment passed after I tried to explain to Ted (my cat) that I never meant to be condescending. Ted didn't reply & just swatted his tail at me. I thought I had imagined Ted speaking,

"Prove it." Perhaps I'd had too many margaritas at lunch. Tequila sometimes has that effect on me. Regardless, I got out a can of tuna for Ted, by way of apology. He purred as I

set the can of tuna down, carefully avoiding his gaze.

If you look the tiger in the eyes, he's liable to pounce. And if he pounces you're in for the skirmish of your life. Best just to let him have the tuna. Out the window, I saw Suzie

delivering our weekly gazelle carcass. I caught her eye & mouthed: "There's a tiger in our kitchen." But Suzie just laughed & did a wiggle - I don't know why. The can of tuna didn'

t even come close to wielding the tiger's appetite. Suzie and I then backed slowly out of the tiger-infested kitchen, turned and ran. I just have to outrun one person, Suzie! The

tiger would have eaten Suzie hadn't I fell over a mop. The tiger pounced! I held my hands in prayer. The tiger did too! I was relieved until I heard, "Thank God for this food."

My eyes shot open in shock and I instinctively jumped into action, grabbing Suzie and bolting. We ran as far as we could, the tiger following close behind.

Suzie clenched her eyes shut, but I begged her to burn the door down with her laser vision. She protested. "There can be no escape from the Lady and the Tiger Hall!"