Bob the Blobfish was winner of the 'Yearly Ugliest Creature of the Ocean' Contest (YUCO), beating out Stan the Stonefish & Gary the Goblinshark. His face had an uncanny similarity

"Hahaha." laughed Slorbnx. "How in the Four Drinplngs is that supposed to work? A planet orbiting one sun with a dark period? Dream on Notwen!" Notwen's antennae retracted glumly.

"Wag yer tail! Wag yer tail!" I said to my dog, but for some reason Maggie thought I was talking to her.

An astronaut, a witch doctor and Suzanne Somers walked into a bar. "Ow" said Suzanne, as she had walked into a particularly pointy part of the bar. The astronaut held open the

The day Smurfette missed her period was very stressful in the hidden Smurf Village.

I turned the corner to find a ravenous horde of undead staring back at me with black, lusterless eyes. A tumbleweed picked that moment to pass by as I dropped my ice cream cone

Father Brown's peach crop needed a boost, so he injected his peaches with testosterone to accelerate their growth. This led to especially massive, fuzzy peaches that sold for

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who ...

"And that is why I will never wear top hats ever again." Aaron turned to me. "So, how about you, George?" he said. "Do you have any irrational fears of harmless objects?"

Parts: torso, legs, arms, feet, hands, head, brain & other organs in marked jars. Defibrillator. Surgical instruments. Instructions: unpack non-organs & remove gangrene

He had never done it upside down before

"Lend me your arms, fast as thunderbolts, for a pillow on my journey." As Hendrick lay his pen down, he imagined the possibility of his haiku poem becoming reality.

The gun slinger SlimWhitman roamed across the western Swiss Alps on his trusty steed. SlimWhitmans's trusty steed was called

Indian merchant trader Myhat Mycoat travelled to North America to meet Native American Chief Big Schlong. Myhat Mycoat brought an assorted range of condoms to trade from New Delhi

The story of Game of Gnomes was about different gnome families competing via hopscotch battles for ground in the garden. The gnomes who occupied the rose garden

"Whip it! Whip my Ted Nugent!" She'd called it her "Ted Nugent" ever since the carnival.

"Yea, Hi thea. How ya doin?" "I'm fine, Miss. Would you like to make an order?" "Yea, shua. I need some Samun & Baygulls." "Sorry Mam, can you repeat that?" "Samun, you know fish?"

"So you took a nap while driving?" "Yes, it was a boring stretch of road so I put the car in autocruise & put on my Ostrich pillow." "The court notes defendent refers to exhibit A.

Once apon a time, there was a purple transvestite chicken named Derik. There were some very unique things about Derik. Not only could she morph into anything she wanted, she could

What is it with you teenagers these days? Seriously.Life is really not as bad as you think.Don't listen to what the media tells you.The world is yours,Chicas, and everything in it.