Parts: torso, legs, arms, feet, hands, head,

Parts: torso, legs, arms, feet, hands, head, brain & other organs in marked jars. Defibrillator. Surgical instruments. Instructions: unpack non-organs & remove gangrene

Make sure you have a flat surface covered with newspaper. Adjust the lightning attractor at a 45 degree angle. Drain jars one at a time for body assembly. Head bolts not included.

Once you successfully assemble your robot. You must purchase and install a appropriate and desirable head bolt of your choice. They are available at any

five and dime store on the corner. My favorite robot head shop is the one that sells the funny smelling incense and the grateful dead tshirts. I went there to find the perfect head

-cheese. But the new robot informed me that this was a different kind of head shop. It laserpointed at the display case. There were severed, shrunken robot heads.

There were attached, enlarged animal heads. And in the back room, through a beaded curtain it looked like a trophy case of human heads. I turned to leave but the door was locked.

I recalled fleetingly that my teachers often commented that I was a head of my time and now, glancing around my gruesome surroundings, I thought maybe they were right. Madame

Nagerjack was a simple woman but it was the times she lived in. I climbed out the window and landed in a rose bush. A large thorn pierced my right butt cheek. Scrambling for

some sense of dignity, I covered my shame with a shovel. Neighbor Jake, who had been burying a child's body in my backyard, scowled at me. "Nagerjack won't like this," he warned.

"You're defiling his holy shovel." I'm camped out in the Dolomites & live on risotto con trufa & Amarone wine. Nagerjack will catch up with me - that's the only sure thing I know.