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29
I was stuck in the restroom with no toilet paper. Stranded right after the biggest bout of diahrrea I'd ever had. I hear the door open and the boss walks in.
Finished
2012-07-10 03:25:43
Took
325 days, 15 hours, 47 minutes, 2 seconds
29
I traded my all my baseball cards to Tommy for his pet Slug, Oliver. I'm starting to think I was ripped off. He doesn't move much. That little shit jipped me. I tried prodding
Finished
2014-03-20 15:16:06
Took
2 years, 214 days, 3 hours, 28 minutes, 58 seconds
29
It was 11 p.m., Mr. Aardvark glanced outside to the pouring rain. Another cigarette, another Bourbon. The cutout ransom letter he had found read "Get me my Golden Diamond or
Finished
2013-04-22 11:11:14
Took
1 year, 245 days, 15 hours, 24 minutes, 52 seconds
29
The smell of ozone was strong. Slightly off-balance, he carefully removed the containers from the backpack. She took out the book and opened it to the correct page to begin. First,
Finished
2012-05-29 14:39:32
Took
278 days, 4 hours, 18 minutes, 19 seconds
29
How could she accuse him of being a mindless materialist? He had an iPad. How was that mindless? Clearly he was self-aware, he had Apple products which meant that
Finished
2012-07-26 03:50:11
Took
306 days, 9 hours, 17 minutes, 34 seconds
30
"Coffee - and Irish it up for me," said the man in the bright blue jump suit. He didn't strike the waitress as
Finished
2010-12-21 19:43:24
Took
130 days, 3 hours, 46 minutes, 6 seconds
30
He grew up in Reading, Ohio, the second of 12 children in a working-class Catholic family. His father ran a tavern where
Finished
2011-04-26 15:17:30
Took
147 days, 11 hours, 54 minutes, 6 seconds
30
The halloween candy bucket still lay at his feet as he gazed over the array of corpses that lay in a pattern consistent with the general arc of his scream. Banshee? What did that
Finished
2010-12-28 17:19:57
Took
26 days, 15 hours, 25 minutes, 47 seconds
30
"Those stupid bastards," he half mumbled to himself. "What are they thinking?" He grabbed and put on his jacket and headed outside into the cold morning air.
Finished
2011-02-21 22:04:41
Took
80 days, 18 hours, 41 minutes, 56 seconds
30
When he graduated with his PhD from Stanford two years ago, he was set to join a team cataloguing endangered species and creating a DNA bank of plants, animals and
Finished
2011-06-25 15:58:32
Took
204 days, 12 hours, 25 minutes, 40 seconds
30
She was dripping with sarcasm, fragrant oils and very little else. It was how he liked to see his girlfriend, but she would do for the night instead. If his clothes had been
Finished
2010-12-28 18:23:14
Took
23 days, 12 hours, 53 minutes, 20 seconds
30
"The Commisar's in town," someone whispered. Don't turn around he thought. Just keep pushing this wheel barrel full of Mighty Putty to the bus stop. If he can was it up
Finished
2011-01-16 03:59:15
Took
33 days, 8 hours, 39 minutes, 14 seconds
30
The drug cartel has shot up like a weed. Grown beyond his wildest dreams. They were now the government of Mexico, calling the shots. He finally could make
Finished
2011-01-17 01:02:11
Took
32 days, 9 hours, 47 minutes, 36 seconds
30
He found this pervert in a chatroom by posing as a 12 year old boy. The guy didn't know he was a cop. But on his way to make the arrest, he looked in the mirror, "Holy shit I am
Finished
2011-08-08 08:15:12
Took
235 days, 7 hours, 48 minutes, 56 seconds
30
According to the manual, it was very important to place the mattress on the slats evenly; but where were the instructions on what to do if you caught your wife being a whore on it
Finished
2011-03-02 14:59:01
Took
75 days, 19 hours, 28 minutes, 39 seconds
30
Everyone said, "No!" but he marched into the recording studio. Production came to a halt. That bastard took off his headphones and said, "What's up?" Then Ted Nugent raised a bow
Finished
2011-12-08 01:04:35
Took
354 days, 7 hours, 15 minutes, 7 seconds
30
Her parents worked from dawn until dusk. Her mother went to mass everyday. All the money they had thrown at her could not change the simple fact: she was a monster that could
Finished
2011-01-18 21:35:25
Took
31 days, 3 hours, 43 minutes, 17 seconds
30
Too many hours online had begun to take their toll on him. His obsessive gazing of 4chan & internet memes had reduced his once vast vocabulary to that of a LOLcat. "Ohai!" he said,
Finished
2011-04-24 03:07:58
Took
122 days, 13 hours, 27 minutes, 10 seconds
30
Though his birth name was Herbert, the neighborhood kids had turned to calling him "Old and Crusty" - A name he likely deserved from his habit of
Finished
2011-03-03 13:36:47
Took
69 days, 17 hours, 54 minutes, 26 seconds
30
Bahumbug! Uttered the Santa suit wearing 3-toed sloth... Or so I thought it was a sloth in my current state. It was actually my mildly drunk and slightly high uncle Andy who
Finished
2011-04-17 08:33:35
Took
114 days, 12 hours, 8 minutes
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