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I traded my all my baseball cards to Tommy

  • I traded my all my baseball cards to Tommy for his pet Slug, Oliver. I'm starting to think I was ripped off. He doesn't move much. That little shit jipped me. I tried prodding

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  • the slug by jamming the top of a 9 volt battery into it. I needed to get my baseball cards back from Tommy. I had to trick him into wanting his slug back. My devious mind

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  • came up with a cunning plan. I injected the slug with 0,1 ml's of cocaine solution so it won all the races in the Burkenwetter Slug Champion's League. Tommy soon called me and dema

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  • goguery allowed us to win the election becoming Pres. & Veep of the Burkenwetter Slug Champions league. We increased membership by Fibonacci series once a week. The rival league

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  • was from France -- the Escargot Tongue Ticklers...and so the gauntlet was thrown down. Using Fibonacci sequencing, our teams (the Slugs vs The Escargot) competed to predict the

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  • rate at which people would kill themselves if Justin Bieber became Chairman of the Fed Reserve. Now we await the appointment to verify who came closest. The Escargot predicted

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  • that Ben Bernanke was to be lead singer of One Direction. And the hair gelled muppets would lend much needed 'direction' to managing the Deficit. The Escargot wouldn't predict

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  • come hell or high water, and he would know. The gel in the muppets' hair dissolved the flapping, googly-eyed puppets rapidly. One Direction broke out a flesh-eating rash, yet the

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  • crowd cheered anyway. Elvis appeared and remarked how this plague on One Direction was the universe getting its revenge on mankind's sin. Gasp! Horror! Elvis had returned!

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  • Then Elvis preceded to take all of his clothes off, and guzzle down 20 gallons of beer. So maybe it wasn't Elvis after all.

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