Quorn

I sat there in the darkness with tears in my eyes, nothing made sense here, at least not anymore.

Health consequences aside, and speaking purely in terms of calorie/dollar efficiency, it's clear that the best food currently available is

- Fade to Black - FIN. The blue velvet curtain came down. That was short. "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" Just 15 minutes?

Walking down the street one day, I met a total stranger. I asked him 'what he wanted to be', and he said, "Stranger! Danger!"

It was 4th and two. 29 seconds to go. I knew they'd be crowding the line of scrimmage, almost assuredly blitzing. I screamed out an audible and looked at Jerry. He nodded. I gunned

Ashamed, I sped Veronica to the ER in my convertible. A banana was lodged in her throat. I warned her about practicing fellatio on fruit while laying down, but she didn't listen.

The residents of Car Carpet City hid in their houses, too afraid of all the giant speeding cars to venture out. The children had severely bruised arms from playing Punch Buggy and

Thanks to an initiative to prevent any misunderstanding from happening ever, a speed reading limit of 250 words per minute was enacted. Drunk reading was now very illegal, as was

Billy Pepper was all about beef jerky, cold brew and hunting knives which made him the perfect

There was a thud in the kitchen, a sound like the muffled wail of a cat, and then silence. Martha reached for her walker & started towards the kitchen, sure that this time Fluffy

The problem with the Nutcracker wasn't his wooden conversation or his gastly chops, it was in his noggin, the whorls of his brain like those of a walnut. He was crackin' nutty &

The midday sun scorched the asphalt of a highway stretching through the desert. Rita found a nice big rock and dropped in on the accelerator and put the convertible in drive.

Crime rates, global population, skin cancer, and gas prices are down. Why? Is it the increase in a police state? No. Alien Invasion? No. The Internet? Yes.

The Midterminator was from the future, he was cold, calculating and could not be reasoned with.

This story I am about to tell you is not funny, so don't laugh when you read it. No matter how bizarre or unrealistic the details may seem, I assure you it is absolutely true.

If you go to Wanapee

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful but horny princess.

I pass four cinder-packed used-car lots; a shabby concrete garage, the dead earth in front of it littered with rusting car parts and old tires

The soundscapes muzak belied Babs' inner turmoil. She could feel the sweat pool under her breasts as she solemnly regarded her coffee grounds. Hands shaking, Babs picked up her